My Back Yard

Dear God

Your presence is known with a gentle wind between the trees.

The warm loving sun beaming down on my face

Wisps of clouds and breathtaking sky

The deer You send me in the morning while the sun gently rises

The nature You provide in all its glory

In trust

For me

For us

Despite all my sins

You allow me peace through Your beauty

You blessed me with this gift

Because You know my struggles

You know my sins

Yet You still find a way to offer me peace in times of need

You make sure I know

You  are never far
You’re all around me

You’re my backyard  💖

Take Care &  God Bless 💖

Cavelle

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Stomp Out Workplace Drama

 

Dear Employees and especially Management,

You might want to read this…

One thing I know for sure. Regardless of whether or not you live with a mental illness of any kind, life has a way of piling stress on you and it always will.

An area of life stress I would like to touch on today is stress in the workplace. This to me is hands down the biggest source of stress for many people.

Every job I have ever had has always consisted of some sort of drama. I have noted over the years that many times this drama gets swept under the rug by management and rarely if ever gets addressed head on.

Why is that?

I think the factors that play into this kind of avoidance is many but I am here to tell you…protect your mental health at all costs. No job is worth compromising your mental health.

I hear you…I’m sure you are saying..”Easier said than done Cavelle. I have a family and bills that need to get paid. I can’t just not work.”

I get that. I really do.

However, this post is not about telling you to quit your job. This post is addressed to people of management positions in particular because at the end of the day, whether you see this “drama” as valid or not, it is still your job to make sure things don’t get out of hand and ultimately create a toxic environment for all involved. Including you.

Especially you, in fact.

It is my belief that if you want to get the most out of your employees, the social dynamic needs to come first before anything else. It needs to be healthy and strong. People are human first and employees second. When people feel management is there for them, guess what? Employees are more likely to be there for management.

Am I trying to say you should be a full time therapist to your employees. Not at all. In fact you can avoid big long drawn out cry fests in your office by simply being present everyday. Don’t hide in your office all day. Make your team aware that you are around. It shows you care and it prevents people from starting gossip and honestly BS in general.

“But I honestly don’t care. This is petty stuff. I shouldn’t have to hear about it. People should be adults and work things out themselves.”

True. In a perfect world.

Did I mention this world is far from perfect?

As management, if you choose to brush off what seems trivial, I can assure you that the trivial stuff you are ignoring will come back to haunt you in a big way.

Also, if you don’t care that’s fine but for the sake of the workplace at least pretend to care. In most cases all people want is validation. Who doesn’t want to feel validated?

If you don’t care and it shows, if you choose to leave your employees to their own devices you are only adding to the problem. You are not separate from your employees. Healthy management is very much intertwined into the social dynamic of the workplace.

When I say social dynamic, I am not asking you to be a doormat and everyone’s friend. That won’t work. What I am saying is, if there is drama in your workplace, take care of it immediately. Just because you ignore it does not mean it goes away.

If you want the respect of your employees then don’t disrespect them by brushing them off. It may not seem like a big deal to you but remember it’s a big deal to them so take it seriously.

The minute something is remotely going down make a point to be proactive and face it head on. If it truly is trivial you have even more reason to address it because you need to make it clear to the people involved that this sort of thing will not be tolerated from either one of them.

Period.

This conversation takes all of what? Fives minutes? Do you not have five minutes of your time to put out a small flame? Why let it turn into a forest fire? This makes no sense to me.

If I had a dream job at this point in time, I would travel to workplaces all over and fix the backwards thinking most companies have towards the little guy. Your employees, your front line, they determine where your business goes. As management you are responsible for the well being of the business which means you better take care of your front line. Without them…there is no need for you…

Look at it from a customer service standpoint. Your employees are told the customer comes first but when do your employees come first? If you don’t understand this concept…perhaps you’re in the wrong position.

Management does not mean “Not my monkeys” You run the show. You took on those monkeys willingly so feed them everyday.

Nobody likes a hungry monkey 😉

 

Take Care and God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Depression – It’s Not Just About Feeling Sad

Hey guys,

I haven’t written anything here in a month. Why? Because I have been dealing with an episode of bipolar depression.

In the last few days, this depression has started to lift. I am starting to feel more like myself but prior to that I was anything but.

Since I finally have the urge to write, I have decided to point out something that I don’t think everyone fully understands –

Depression is not just about feeling sad. It’s really not.

I would like to explain my recent experience with bipolar depression in particular to give people an inside look. I finally have the words to express myself so here it goes…

Depression crept up on me. It’s sneaky like that. I don’t experience depression all the time but when I do, how it effects me and the people around me is a dark hole of limbo that is hard to escape.

It is my hope that if someone reading this is struggling, they can be rest assured they are not alone and there is hope. I promise. ❤

In the last few months, life in general has been a series of low blows with a sprinkle of light at the end of the tunnel. Enough to get by.

I found myself saying “Things will be OK” repeatedly. I try my best to see the silver lining in everything but you can only take so many hits. You have two choices in that moment. Fight back or shut down.

I shut down.

Eventually I was adopting a robotic approach to life so that I could keep my head above water, get out of bed, get dressed and go to work. That’s pretty much it.

Funny, when I go to work I somehow manage to turn on a smile and you would never know I was in the throws of depression. In fact, even I didn’t know at first.

The robotic smile makes sure I can pay my bills. It makes sure I am not a complete waste…but it’s limited. That smile can only do so much and by the time I get home there are no smiles left for the people that truly matter in my life.

As time passed, I found myself not leaving the house (I am an introvert as it is). I work night shifts as a hotel night auditor and so pile on even more isolation. Although I must say I do enjoy the quiet and my own company.

Not leaving the house soon turned into not leaving the bed. Not bathing. Zoning out while I played match 3 games on my phone. Sleeping excessively. Cutting off communication.

No more posts on Facebook. No more writing in my blog. No more prayers to God or going to church. No more communication with my family or friends.

Nothing.

Not sad. Completely numb and isolated. Slowly but surely creating a little bubble in my bedroom, curtains drawn and simply existing.

To experience no emotions but know in the back of your mind that you should is very surreal. You start to wonder if you are in touch with reality at all. Is it a dream? You know it’s not but it’s like this dark cloud. A fog that you start to fear will never lift…except you don’t care. You really don’t.

You’re plagued with guilt and disgust. You know you should do something about it but all the life is gone…in fact you start to wonder about life and if it’s even worth it.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful soon to be husband. He let me have my space at first not fully understanding what was happening but when he saw it was too much he started to gently nudge me out of  bed…suggested things like a shower. Not in a mean way just simply to help me feel better. Sometimes it helped a little but I would soon retreat back to bed.

One day (God love him) he managed to actually get me out of the house and took me for a drive to nowhere in particular. It was a beautiful day and he simply just wanted to be with me and experience daylight.

Gradually, I started to try a little more. Not much but it’s something right? Still closed off and not knowing how to express myself I tried to be a little more present and then one day out of nowhere while my fiance sat by my bedside just to remind me he’s still there, I finally opened up. I am not sure why or where it came from but suddenly for the first time in weeks I had tears and once that happened I did not stop.

It felt good to cry. Finally something. An emotion. A flicker of a human being again.

My fiance relieved I was finally starting to come back to him, let me cry…and cry. He hugged me with no words and that’s all I needed. Things had meaning again.

The guilt of being so self absorbed in my little bubble and denying access to those I care about most hit like a ton of bricks but once the tears stopped, I realized I am loved and things really will be OK. I am worth it. I always have been and the dark clouds don’t last forever.

If you’re reading this and you relate or know someone going through the same thing. Please don’t give up. Don’t give up on yourself. Friends and family, don’t give up on them.

It does pass. It will pass and I can assure you that you are worth it. People do love you. God loves you. Hell, I will love you if you need it. ❤ Just don’t give up.

So that’s my story. I wonder did I spill too much of my guts. Probably but truth be told, I don’t care and finally it’s for the right reason.

 

Take Care & God Bless ❤

 

Cavelle