Let It All Out

Hey guys 🙂

As I enter into a new week, I have put my armor on and I’m ready to kick some butt. 🙂

One thing I have done to help with that is I have started making a point to get back into church and make it routine. For awhile there I just couldn’t get seem to get it together and just go to church…an hour out of my week, and yet something as simple as going to church seemed like a challenge but I am determined to make that stop.

In the last couple of weeks I have started to dig deep and get back to basics. I long for a simple, uncomplicated life and that has meant keeping my inner circle as close to me as possible and the rest will have to make an appointment.

Self preservation is not a bad thing. ❤

Last week when I attended church, I managed to show up early for Sunday School before the main sermon. The topic that morning revolved around being born again, being saved.

This struck a chord in me and actually made me emotional. I had been so wrapped up in earthly, day to day junk, that I wasn’t feeling as spiritually in touch as I wanted to be.

I spoke up in class and asked how can I truly be saved when I am bound to make mistakes and falter? Do I just ask for forgiveness and continue to be born over and over again?

I said, I feel guilty that I have missed so much church. I feel I have let my church family down. I said, it’s not just my work schedule that makes it challenging to show up. It’s an internal thing…it’s me.

When we discuss being saved, I am never sure how to approach it or what to say. I feel I have a relationship with God and I certainly have faith and believe in him but I said, I struggle to come right out publicly and proclaim that I am saved or that I want to be saved and make that true commitment to God.

I mentioned the persecution I feel sometimes as I become more rooted in my faith and more outspoken about it. That lead to discussion that as we get closer to the day when God will return, the bible clearly states Christians will be persecuted more and more each day…

Timothy simply states:

2 Timothy 3:12

Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted

 

I continued to discuss the fact that am not sure I am ready to go there yet. That I tend to sit on the fence when it comes to making something like being saved offical and so I feel behind sometimes.

I didn’t mean to hijack the class and I said as much but the result of me speaking up and allowing myself to be vulnerable turned out to be a much needed positive experience and great discussion among the class.

Emotional and overwhelming but truly cleansing in its own right. I received so much support from the ladies and they were happy I spoke up and they prayed with me. I didn’t even realize I had so much pent up emotion until that moment.

One thing I have realized is that on a subconscious level, I think the reason I had started to avoid going to church in the last few months is because it was striking too many chords within me and overwhelming me.

Also, I am not used to receiving that kind of support…I don’t know how to ask for and accept it and so it feels awkward to me. I walk through those church doors sometimes and think, I don’t deserve to be here…I am not a stand up Christian. Church reminds me that I am painfully human and sometimes I just don’t know what to do with that and so I hide.

But I am starting to realize and understand what church is really about. It’s not about being the perfect Christian or keeping judgmental tabs on each other. It’s about helping each other as we walk our path with God. It’s a support system, a safe haven and a social outlet with like minded people that I desperately need but tend to avoid.

Today, I managed to make it to church again (2 weeks in a row woo hoo!) and today’s sermon was great. Now that I am really starting to dig deep and allow myself to be open I am getting much more out of the sermons and Sunday School lessons. I am left full with soul food and it makes me feel ready to face my week as I know that’s when the devil works the hardest. He loves to beat us down and encourage stress and worry over the day to day.

It’s also a nice outing not only for me but for my fiance too. It brings us closer together as a couple. It makes us stronger.

I finally have a man in my life who also has faith and believes God is with us. We are able to rise above a lot simply because we hold God’s hand together and if one of us is down, we’re able to lift the other up by reminding the other that God will take care of us.

The uphill climb a Christian faces today and throughout history is real. For some reason, many people cast stones on religion…They associate the word “religion” with being radical, close minded, judgmental, self righteous, corny, out of touch, uptight and stuffy.

This is unfortunate and I am not trying to say none of that exists within the realm of religion…but Christian or not, there will always be someone pointing fingers…always… in fact we’re all guilty of it if we’re being honest.

We are ALL human.

There will always be good, evil and everything in between… more importantly there will always be wolves in sheep’s clothing no matter where you turn but that doesn’t mean you can’t protect yourself and it starts with surrounding yourself with the right people instead of trying in vain to get people to see what you see, think what you think and feel what you feel…we need to stop focusing on that, myself included and turn inward and hold on to the people who are truly there to offer love and support.

Keep your friends and family close and your enemies as far away as possible. Don’t engage, don’t react and fuel futile fires.

Try saying that three times fast. 😉

I made that mistake just in the last month in one of my posts…it reeked havoc on my Facebook page.

People deleted me and lashed out at me…persecuted me…I had a strong, controversial/Christian opinion and when I wrote the post, I was frustrated and instead of just leaving it alone and turning the other cheek, I sparked one of those futile fires and promoted the wrong kind of conversation and energy…for that I feel remorse and have learned my lesson. I ultimately took down the post because it’s not my true goal to start a social media firestorm of that nature.

Does that mean I retract my stance? No. It does not. Could I have expressed myself in a better way? Definitely.

All I know is I am going to screw up and that day I did but the quicker I make peace with that and stop worrying about what other people think of me the better. I have never claimed to be perfect and I never will be.

I think that’s what non-believers need to understand. Being a Christian does not mean being perfect or living some prim and proper, holier than thou lifestyle. We all have free will and are free to choose our own path so maybe we all just need to focus on paving our own path instead of trying to pave someone else’s.

This has been a valuable lesson that I have learned.

There are many things going on in today’s society that I do not agree with. Things that make me cringe…things I find hypocritical and totally backwards… I am sure there are people who feel the same about me and my beliefs but the one thing I have realized about that is to just stay true to myself and walk the path that is right for me. Talk about that and keep my mouth shut about the rest because honestly, why waste energy on and argue with people who already have their mind made up. Why stir that pot? In my experience, it was nothing but trouble…a total waste.

The best thing I can do is keep promoting the positive example I strive to be. Continue to grow in my relationship with God, with my spouse, my family, my friends and my church. The rest will fall naturally into place and will weed out the people who don’t need to be anywhere near my inner circle.

Aim for simplicity, for peace. Sure, you won’t always get it right. You won’t always practice what you preach but I will leave you with this cliche –

If at first you don’t succeed, try try again. 

 

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A Christian With Bipolar Disorder (Extended Edition)

Hey guys 🙂

I was reading through some of my older blog posts this evening and I noticed one that keeps getting hits long after I wrote it so in light of that, I thought I would expand on that post.

If you’re interested in reading the older post, click on the link below –

A Christian With Bipolar Disorder

In that post, I discussed some of the personal challenges I face in regards to keeping my faith strong while living with Bipolar Disorder.

Honestly, I didn’t think it was one of my best pieces but as it turns out it received great responses and more people were able to relate to this topic than I thought.

Living with Bipolar Disorder certainly has its challenges and stigma. Add a dash of faith in God and the challenges and stigma easily doubles.

In the past, I have talked about the persecution of Christians in today’s society. Not just Christians but honestly anyone who chooses to believe in God. Those of us who believe know that as time goes on, that persecution is destined to get worse.

2 Timothy 3:12

Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted…

Personally, I desire to live a godly life. Am I good at that? Not really if I’m being honest. I screw up all the time but one thing I can say with confidence is that I am a resilient person.

In fact, I believe people who live with mental illness have an edge in that respect. The internal battle mental illness can bring day after day…to the point some people would rather take their own life…and do… but there are also so many of us who have managed to survive that battle. In some cases multiple times.

I thank God for my survival. ❤

You know, I was reading some material about Freud and his take on religion. As if the balancing act was difficult enough, the father of psychology states that God is merely an illusion…

Image result for Freud

Religion is an illusion and it derives its strength from the fact that it falls in with our instinctual desires…

 

It could be ventured to understand obsessive compulsive neurosis as the pathological counterpart of religious development, to define neurosis as an individual religiosity; to define religion as a universal obsessive compulsive neurosis…

 

 

The whole thing (religion) is so patently infantile, so foreign to reality, that to anyone with a friendly attitude to humanity it is painful to think that the great majority of mortals will never be able to rise above this view of life… 

 

And my “favorite”…

I regard myself as one of the most dangerous enemies of religion…

 

It’s interesting to note that Freud was born in Austria to a large Jewish family. His nanny was a devout catholic who took him to church every Sunday. Aside from that, Freud fled Nazis persecution and died shortly before World War 2.

As I find with a lot of Atheists, they don’t believe yet are fascinated with the subject. In this case I feel Freud’s take on religion is entirely based on his personal upbringing. If religion was introduced from a young age and in turn rejected, there is a reason for that and from what I noticed, people who reject God seem to be bitter about something. I could be wrong but it’s something that has stood out to me over time.

Freud is indeed dangerous in this regard as he states himself. He is one of the most prominent figures in psychology. Most people take his findings/opinions as the “bible” truth.

As if the stigma of having a mental illness isn’t enough, we now have to deal with a man  who’s words carry much weight even to this day and work hard against the Christian.

Hmm, I wonder what words from men of the past also carry much weight even to this day.

The bible comes to mind but remember, I’m delusional so believe what I say with caution…

So let me get this straight, I have Bipolar Disorder and apparently an obsessive compulsive, infantile mental state on top of it simply because I believe in God.

There is more than one article out there that correlates religion and mental illness. This does not surprise me at all given the state of our current world. It’s much easier to write off Christians as mentally ill then to think maybe they have a point…or a brain for that matter.

This just ties in with the mass persecution I spoke of earlier. Most Christians simply want to live in peace. Most are not banging down your door trying to shove their beliefs down your throat. Most are kind and are not running around killing people over the matter and many (are you ready for this?) are not mentally ill.

In part, you can thank the media for promoting such stigmas.

It blows my mind that in a world that currently promotes and borderline forces you to accept all for who they are without question, Christians still get some of worst ridicule…and for what exactly? How can there be such a double standard?

Apparently, I can’t believe in God without my mental health coming into question yet I could certainly question the mental health of people who currently ride the massive accept all/no questions train.

 

Freud makes yet another quote which I will leave you with…

…Religion’s eleventh commandment is “Thou shalt not question”…

Interesting…

 

Take Care and God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Persecution Of Today’s Christians

Hey guys 🙂

Long time no post but today I have to let this out because it’s been eating at me for awhile now.

I am not typically one to make waves but when I feel like my morals, values and beliefs are being stomped on simply because I won’t conform to certain mainstream thinking, I find it hard to sit back and let it happen.

Our current world preaches love, acceptance, free speech, self expression and unity…a global joining of hands. Yet as a Christian, in today’s society, I feel I might as well be burned at the stake for what I believe in and identify with.

My fellow brothers and sisters, this should come as no surprise. We are warned in the Bible that this would happen. As we prepare and wait for God’s return, we will be persecuted for what we believe more and more each day. It’s already happening at an alarming speed.

2 Timothy 3:12 

Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,

We are being pushed into a global agenda that claims we should all accept the other for who they are, what they are, who they love, yet somewhere along the way, the Christian community got left out of this equation.

As a Christian, it seems as long as I am willing to shut up and put up with mainstream opinion, it’s Ok to be Christian. If I speak out, or promote an opinion that does not line up with the majority, I am unaccepting, unloving, unreasonable. I am a bigot, evil, selfish, ignorant, intolerant and the list could go on but I think you get my point.

One agenda currently at the front of it all is the transgender movement. Along with this movement, there is a genderless movement. Some people are identifying as aliens (no joke)

Just recently, the first birth certificate with no gender identification was issued right here in Canada. What has the world come to? It’s one thing to ask kids to decide which gender they most identify with before their first year of school, (which I don’t agree with) but to not even give the child a choice either way?

A new born child. They will never know or understand what it means to be a man or woman or even switch that role if they so choose. The parents made the decision of genderless for them before the child’s first words!

Where do we draw the line?

In other Canadian news, Nemis Quinn Mélançon-Golden of Montreal is an 8 year old drag queen. His parents (is it Ok to attach a gender label on this? I’m never sure anymore…) help him prepare for his shows.

I am going to tell you something…

At one point in time, I surrounded myself with many gay friends. I still have friends that are gay but what I am saying here is different….I was very much entrenched in the culture and lifestyle although not gay myself, I felt accepted in a time where I felt I didn’t belong anywhere and I don’t have any regrets there but I draw the line when you start putting kids in very adult and explicit situations.

One of my friends at the time was a drag queen. I used to go to shows thinking it was all great fun but after awhile you start to see the dark side of the drag community.

It’s derogatory in nature. If you think women are the stereotypical “catty” types, hang out with a drag queen for a day…or watch Rupaul’s Drag Race and listen to the insults and competitive low blows fly. It’s not completely exaggerated for TV folks, it is an accurate portrayal of a day in the life of a drag queen. At least from what I saw when I was around it.

The clubs I would go to were riddled with drugs and alcohol and yes most clubs are whether or not it’s a gay club. My point? You think it’s cute to encourage your 8 year old son to dress like a prostitute, be exposed to drag culture and perform provocative shows because “that’s who he is” Do you honestly know what you are exposing your child to? At 8 years old, does your child really know who they are?

No child on this planet should have to be exposed to explicit, adult content. This is not an innocent game of dress up. If you have seen a drag show it’s R rated at best. Highly sexual and explicit in nature yet the world rejoices as this little boy finds his identity as a drag queen. Aww, how adorable… This sounds more like child abuse to me.

In saying all this, I still come out of this the bad guy in most people’s eyes. Why? Because I don’t agree? I don’t have to agree. Just because I don’t agree does not make me a hater.

I am not interested in hate and this post is not about hate but if an 8 year old boy gets to be a drag queen and that is adored, encouraged and accepted then as a 33 year old woman, I am allowed to be a Christian and talk about it openly. In fact, I can talk about whatever I want…can’t I?

It works both ways (supposedly). The double standard and hypocrisy that exists around these ever changing agendas and forced acceptance is mind blowing.

You can be anything you want. Literally anything. If I wanted to identify as a toaster right now I could and probably get my birth certificate changed to prove I am in fact a toaster…but a Christian? Oh no, anything but that! That’s just pushing things too far…

1 Peter 4:4 

With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you;

 

Take Care and God Bless ❤

Cavelle