I only smoke when I drink…

That used to be me…I would only have a cigarette if there was a drink in my hand to go with it.

Turns out, I had a drinking problem…

In hindsight, I was dipping my toe into the dark side of life and it gradually transformed into bad habits like smoking, drinking, overeating and hanging out with the wrong people. It didn’t matter where, when or with who.

This was long before I would receive my bipolar disorder diagnoses. When I look back on my life before medication entered it, I am not sure how I am still standing. Oh wait, yes I know…. it’s the meds…a good chunk of the reason at least.

That negative part of my life seems like a dream.

As I am currently going through a medication withdrawal, I seem to have lost my center. The dream seems real now and I keep having to remind myself that there is nothing to be afraid of.

It’s moments like this that I find myself praying. Prayer whether you consider yourself  to be a religious person or not, is powerful. Prayer helps you focus, it calms your mind and keeps you present. Prayer keeps you in check.

Another way I like to keep the junk in my head at bay is by writing about it. It helps me to organize my thoughts and view them from a more objective standpoint.

I always feel better after I write. I am starting to feel better already as I bring this post to a close.

I would like to write and share a small prayer/poem that maybe helpful. There is power in prayer and even more power in numbers…

Ease my mind this day

For I am here to pray

I pray my worries wash away

That only the light may resume its stay

 

Take Care ❤

Cavelle