Mania In The Moment

Hey guys πŸ™‚

I hope you’re all doing well. ☺

Writing about what mania is like is nothing new. I have touched on it before but I have never actually written about it while experiencing it at the same time so today I want to give a true glimpse into my manic experience while it’s fresh.

For me, my bouts of mania are not nearly as frequent as they used to be. Things are more or less under control. I have bipolar 2 disorder so the mania for me fits the hypomania category. It’s less intense.


The fact I can recognize my own manic state is something I never thought I would be able to do but when you manage to stabilize something like bipolar disorder you can start to see the symptoms of it a lot easier. Not always…it can kind of creep up on you but yeah definitely manic right now.

So how do I know? Well, it all started about two weeks ago when I got off track with my medication.

It started with strep throat and the antibiotics I took for it. It hindered the effects of my medication. Basically, it felt like I wasn’t taking any medication for my disorder but strep throat needed to go and so I just kind of dealt with it.

I felt “off” for days because of it but not so much manic at that point.

Then, I ran out of my medication entirely. It’s happened before but this time I just found myself busy and reeling from the holidays and illness. I simply forgot to refill my prescription at first. The medication I take, when you stop suddenly it’s not instantly noticeable. At least not for me and besides that, I take a second medication for generalized anxiety disorder which I believe helped make the withdrawal from the first medication less noticeable.

Then our town was hit with a winter storm. That delayed things further. By the time I did pick up my medication though, it was obvious I needed it. I got that foggy, can’t put a sentence together,Β  muscle spasm thing that I always get in my arms whenever withdrawal happens.

Basically I felt like a zombie.

I took my medication but forgot one tiny thing. I take Lamotrigine and that is one medication that you have to increase very slowly. It only has a half life of 24 to 30 hours approximately.

I forgot that fact and took the full dose when I technically had to start the dosing process all over again as if taking it for the first time.

The day I picked up my medication it was not even 9 AM and I insisted with my better half that I must go to the dollar store for craft supplies. This was because the night before, I spent half my night on Pinterest obsessing over mosaic art and crafts and was suddenly inspired and felt that I too must create such beauty.

I couldn’t even wait at that point to hit the dollar store. I started taking old cds and cutting them up, determined to make my mosaic masterpiece and that’s when I realized I had no glue…I tried making glue from flour and water (fyi it didn’t work) then I tried electrical tape…I could not wait it was suddenly very important.

Finally I did give up and stayed up the rest of the night. When the sun finally came up I started pestering my husband to take me to the dollar store.

We had to stop at other stores first and I was crawling out of my skin waiting for my husband as he browsed around. Normally I would gladly browse with him but this time I was snappy, rushing him and even felt anxiety and stress that he didn’t seem to be getting to the dollarstore fast enough.

When I did get to the dollarstore I beelined it for the craft section like a junkie looking for a fix.

I was in heaven. I suddenly had a million creative ideas and when I got to the counter to pay, I certainly went over that 20 dollar budget I promised I would stick to.

When I got home, I got down to business…and I didn’t stop. I spent the entire day crafting. I couldn’t stop looking at my creation and taking pictures of it…tweaking it until it was what I perceived to be perfection….this has been going on for the last two days and finally just started to calm down somewhat today.

Now I find myself here not being able to type about it fast enough.

No sleep…intense need to create and spend money on craft supplies…is that dangerous? No. Honestly as I read what I have written, I find it funny actually. Of course it’s funny. Everything is in this state. That’s another thing about mania,nothing can get you down…

What I know despite my mental state right now is things will come down. It’s already happening because that’s what always happens. The mania is never long term…sometimes I wish that it was because honestly it’s an awesome feeling. You have the energy 10 people drinking red bull and lightening focus, it’sΒ  just it never lasts long enough to truly accomplish anything long term.

Mania is like a car salesmen getting you hyped up enough to buy an expensive sports car when you’re normally a minivan person but you fall for the pitch and you find yourself driving that sportscar as fast as you can and then just as you hit the highway the wheels start coming off and you have to pull over or crash entirely.

That’s what mania is in the moment for me…I will read this back to myself later and probably feel embarrassed I wrote about it but in this case maybe it will help someone understand mania or confirm it for someone.

Take Care & God Bless ❀



Wow! Thank You!

Hey guys πŸ™‚

So despite the fact I have not written in this blog since mid November, there are still people finding, reading and following this blog ❀

That warms my heart! But umm, it also leaves me wondering what I should do lol. As you know from the last post I left here, I ventured off into new territory with a second blog called A Christian In Bloom.

The theme there as the name suggests, is faith based and focuses on my ever growing walk with God.

I have been taking things at a slow pace and I thought perhaps of closing down Mental Break – In Progress altogether…I did that once before during a difficult time in my life and I soon came to regret it.

Mental Break – In Progress has been my baby since 2014. I can’t seem to shake it and I don’t really want to.

It is clear to me that despite ignoring this blog for 2 months, the topic of mental illness is what I have always known it to be –

An important one.

So now I find myself back here once more and at a crossroads. Do I run two separate blogs? Do I mesh them together somehow?

Part of my back on forth on this is I want to reach people on more than one level. I know not everyone out there is a Christian or believes in God or even a higher power for that matter but despite that, I know there are many, many people who need to connect on the topic of mental illness and well, I know that topic quite well and I’m passionate about helping people regardless of their beliefs because no one deserves to walk the road of mental illness alone. ❀

On the other hand, my faith over the last year or so has grown leaps and bounds. I still struggle with it, all the time in fact but this transformation I have been going through is by far the most important one to date and so as I transform so does my writing.

So in light of all I have said just now and also in light of a new year, I guess it’s time to go to the drawing board and figure this out. As I write this some ideas come to mind already but honestly, if you have any feedback to give, this bipolar Christian would be most grateful to you! πŸ™‚

Take Care & God Bless ❀




What About The “About” Page?

Hey guys πŸ™‚

Taking the night off as far as delving into a deep topic post but that being said, one thing I noticed about my blog this morning is that my “about” page was in need of some TLC and so I revamped it and thought I would share πŸ™‚

About Me

After making some adjustments, it made me realize that I visit blogs all the time with no “about” page and I have always wondered why bloggers neglect such a good opportunity to make a first impression and connect with other bloggers.

I am far from a blogging pro but I feel like this one section of your blog should be completed before anything else. I want to know a little bit about you first before I dive into your writing…feed my curiosity! I want to get to know you πŸ˜€

So yeah, I guess if I had a blogging tip to throw out there it would be to make an “about” page. It sets the tone for your whole blog and well worth the effort πŸ™‚

Take Care and God Bless ❀



Why I Don’t Want Children

Hey guys πŸ™‚

I already wrote a post earlier but it’s been a rather slow night here on my night shift. I refuse to be bored, so I turn to my writing for comfort.

As a lady in my early/entering mid 30’s (I’ll be 34 in December) it seems that society encourages that I should really get on that baby train soon or I might miss it.

I need to stress before I go any further, this post is not about hating on mothers or children for that matter, it’s just for some of us, children are not in the cards.

For some, the reasons for not having children are beyond control and for others like me, it’s a conscious decision.

Let me also make note of the fact, that I consider myself to have been a mother already. When I was younger I had a miscarriage. It was a very difficult time.

The relationship I was in was not healthy/abusive and when I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend at the time didn’t seem all that shocked.

Did I mention that he admitted to getting me pregnant on purpose two weeks after I found out and right before I would be starting college?

Apparently, this was suppose to bring us “closer together”. I suppose you are questioning how could my ex have gotten me pregnant on purpose. Was there no birth control? Sigh, there was not at the time but there was trust (in that respect)…or at least there was suppose to be.

Miscarriages are all too common unfortunately but the loss is real and you never stop wondering about your child who could have been.

Before I found out I was pregnant, there was one night when my girlfriends and I decided to have a girls night out. I remember my boyfriend at the time was putting up a fuss that I wanted to go but I thought he was just being a jerk as things between us had been on a downward spiral for some time and so I went out, had drinks and a grand ole time.

This event would be thrown back in my face.

After my miscarriage, I had little support emotionally and otherwise from him.

One night, we had a huge argument regarding the event and in the heat of the moment he told me that I wouldn’t have lost the baby had I had stayed home that night.

To this day, that statement can still sting. That statement would keep me in a state of guilt and depression for some time.

How could he have the audacity to blame me when he knew before I left that night what he had already done?

The choice to have a baby was not mine in this case and despite that, I was excited and prepared to carry to term.

But the choice to keep the baby was taken from me. This would prove to be for the best but at the time it was devastating.

I felt violated, betrayed and I also felt completely out of control. Decisions were made for me without any consideration.

Not a good feeling.

My miscarriage experience landed me in the emergency room. I was hemorrhaging at a dangerous rate and there are some parts of that event that are still so vivid.

Two days before Christmas…five days before my birthday…

So yes, a rather dark story but the good news is, I persevered through that time in my life. ❀

For the most part, I have made peace with it all but it took a long time and sometimes it still haunts me 10 years later.

You never forget something like that but it is possible to move forward.

I have spent the majority of my life making the same mistakes over and over again. I spent the majority of my life mentally ill, unaware that I had bipolar disorder.

It has only been in the last year that I have truly started to get my life together and I have to tell you, this new found freedom, this healthier me, I love it and I want nothing or no one to interfere with that…and yes that includes children.

I don’t think I need to tell you that having a child is a lifelong commitment and while I will not argue with people the fact that kids are life changing and there’s nothing like it, that’s kind of my point. It is life changing, it is a huge commitment and if I am truly honest with myself, I want to commit to me for once.

I want my freedom.

I am not willing to commit to having a child. Is that selfish of me to say?

As a woman, sometimes you think people will frown upon that statement but I would rather be honest then cave to social pressures, use my body for it’s biological purpose but ultimately grow to resent my child in the process.

Speaking of social pressures, having a kid in this world we live in today?

No thanks.

I personally feel like the world is full of so much PC rhetoric that I honestly want no part of having to juggle a kid along with that…I read all these stories about the issues parents have had to deal with at their kid’s school for example…I don’t have patience for such things and I refuse to allow myself or my hypothetical child for that matter, get caught up in crap like that.

I have mentioned having bipolar disorder. My father and brother also have bipolar disorder. There is a hereditary component to the illness and personally, I don’t like the idea of putting my child at risk for that.

Sure, I would be able to see the signs faster than most and have it treated much earlier but again, if I am being honest, I have enough of a time taking care of myself in that department. I am not sure I could or want to handle having children based on that.

OK, so now for an obvious reason.

My husband to be had a vasectomy during a previous relationship so that kind of takes children off the table. I think in some cases the procedure can be reversed but as it turns out my fiance and I are both on the same page here so it’s really a non issue for us.

We have lived similar lives and we both feel the need to focus on ourselves and each other. We have stability in our lives and we’re really not willing to rock that boat. We get by financially and we’re comfortable for once.

Another reason I would rather not have a child…they cost a ton of money that would tip the financial scales out of our favor. I am not about to have a child I am not financially prepared for.

That being said, I love children. I am an aunt of 3 nephews, 1 niece and 1 niece on the way in November. I love being the cool aunt. ❀ I love being a mentor.

So I may not want children of my own but I certainly love the idea of being there for children who have been cast aside. It’s an epidemic and one that just should not be.

I can see myself one day adopting perhaps or even being a foster parent. I would rather help and love the children (so many) who are already here with no family, no place to turn, no love and security, than bring a new child into this world.

I don’t prefer to be a mother in the traditional sense but I feel I can certainly be a mother of sorts to children who really need one.

I will always advocate for children. ❀

They didn’t ask to be brought into this world and so it’s our duty as a society (I feel) to take care of the innocent before creating new innocents.

Again, this is not to “mom shame” anyone but we all have a story and this one happens to be mine. I know there are many women like myself afraid to speak up about the other side of the fence because it seems to be assumed that all women want to be mothers and that is simply just not true and I am here to tell you –


That is perfectly OK. ❀


Take Care & God Bless ❀













Dear Love – An Open Letter To You

Dear Hun, (aka love of my life)

Just over a year ago, my brother introduced us. I didn’t know it right in that moment but I shook hands with my future husband, the person that I thought only existed in my dreams.

Then, one day, when the storm that I broke from cleared, there you were just being your awesome self and I quickly realized “This guy is the real deal” a male version of myself.

Realizing how much I loved you in that moment also made me realize that maybe, just maybe, I loved myself too for basically the first time ever.

Before you came along, I used to joke with people that I could never date someone like me, as a way to justify the fact that I was in relationships where being myself was an afterthought at best.

Being myself was a “bad” thing.

I forfeited my identity, the things that made me an individual to try and mold myself into what past boyfriends wanted me to be and it was never enough…ever.

But one day, I put my foot down..hard. I hit the ground running. It was terrifying and liberating all at the same time…I was ready to take life into my own hands…


Funny how as soon as I did that, you just sort of fell into my lap. Best and worst timing ever lol.

It was like God was giving me a big hug, like a father proud of his child for doing the right thing and in turn he gifted me with you.

I think God had you in his back pocket the whole time, he was just waiting for me to wake up so that He could bless me with the best gift I could ever ask for. ❀

We have both been through so much. We both had baggage when we met and usually that would mean trouble, but in this case, we came together and helped each other to heal the wounds from our past because we both knew we had beautiful diamonds in the rough just waiting to shine, we understood each other’s pain and because we’re both so awesome, we got down to work and started chipping away at the walls we had built.

Now, like a sparkling diamond, we’re stronger than ever.

You are my best friend and I don’t think you understand just how much that means to me. We’re so connected. We know when to push and when to back off. We work through the tough times as a team.

We’re resilient. ❀

You give me the freedom to be me. I am still working on figuring out who I truly am and you support me on the journey and encourage me in the process. You make me want to be a better person everyday.

I used to feel like I was nothing more than some “crazy b*tch” (I was in fact told as much, more than once in the past along with various other derogatory statements.)

In my last relationship, I was apparentlyΒ  suppose to “get over” the struggles I had with mental illness…no support, just criticism as if I should be able to just turn bipolar disorder off…

But you…you let me cry and work through the pain, you make me laugh, you make me smile, I am even allowed to be grumpy and you respect my space…that’s a big one as I was never allowed to have that before. You don’t take the need for space personally. You understand my need to recharge and process my thoughts. You also know when to give me a nudge when I have been in “hermit mode” for too long.

I am so grateful for that. ❀

You don’t push me into a corner and try to trigger me just so you can point the finger and make things my fault so that you can remain a control freak.

You make me an equal. ❀

You encourage me…you make it alright to be a big giant nerd because…well…you’re a big giant nerd πŸ˜‰

You’re not threatened by the fact that I am smart. I don’t have to dumb myself down for you. We have in depth, intelligent conversations…do you have any idea what a breath of fresh air that is?! To be allowed to use my brain without coming off as some sort of threat to you?

What a difference it is to be with a real man ❀

Because you are there for me in ways I never imagined possible, it allows me to be there for you the way I had always hoped to be in a relationship.

We both have our moments where we don’t feel good enough for the other…that is just the past talking as it does sometimes but the voice of the past is fading more and more each day that we’re together.

Don’t ever say “You deserve better than me.” because you, my dear, are in fact the better I deserve ❀ I have waited for you for what seems like a lifetime and it’s been well worth the wait.

You know what else I love about you? Other people love you. I don’t feel like I have to “explain” you to people in order for them to understand what I see in you or flat out lie about our relationship to make it sound amazing to people when it isn’t.

You’re such a good soul and people see that in you right away. When I am with you I am proud. My parents and family love you so I know I got it right this time lol

People are genuinely happy for us because it’s so obvious how much we’re truly happy with each other. W truly are good and healthy for each other.

The people that matter most to me don’t simply “tolerate” you for my sake while secretly hoping I will come to my senses and leave you.

Oh and did I mention your amazing work ethic? Nothing is more attractive to me than a smart man who sets their work ethic bar high. I take pride in doing a good job, being reliable and a strong worker. I enjoy being a good example and so do you. You’re not lazy. You won’t lower the bar just to appease a lazy person.

I’m not high maintenance, you know this about me and by work ethic I am not talking about the money…it’s the principle.

You will do what needs to be done to maintain security in our home without a second thought. You don’t leave me hanging and force me to be “the provider” which you know hands down I can do and have done in past relationships. I will also do what needs to be done to keep security in our home but you don’t sit back and expect it.

You care about taking care of me and putting my mind at ease making it effortless for me to support you in the ways that you truly need.

You are my king and as your queen, I am more than happy to stand by your side and let you wear your much deserved crown. ❀

Know that I will always support you in this way. I want nothing but the best for you. I want to show you that the women from your past, the ones who have stomped all over your heart and wallet for that matter…That’s over and it’s totally their loss and my gain.

In the end, all of that, your past…my past, it ultimately brought us together. The rest no longer matters and for the others? What goes around truly comes back around.

I will always have your back. Anyone stupid enough to mess with you from here on in,Β  now has to answer to me and trust me when I say, for you, I will eat those people alive. You’re worth protecting and fighting for. You would and have, done the same for me. ❀

In closing, I only ask one thing of you.

Keep being you. You are truly a beautiful person. A rare find in this world and that is worth more to me than anything else ❀

I love you ❀















A Mixed Bag

Hey guys πŸ™‚

I hope you’re all doing well ❀

Today, I have no real topic to present to you. Just me kinda talking about…well…stuff.

*Warning* It’s going to be really random…

Let’s see… Things have been going pretty good lately. No major bipolar episodes which is great. Sometimes I worry about that with the change of the season. Not sure if anyone else experiences that but if I make a point to keep track, I find certain times of the year are more “bipolary” than others.

Job is stable! Finally a job that is stable. Anyone who lives with mental illness of any kind can probably relate to the difficulties of finding stability in that area of their lives in particular.

For awhile there I was job hopping to the point I honestly just felt like a failure. I see people sticking to their jobs for years. They seem to be able to handle all the crap that comes with a job and I was barely making the first 3 months. For various reasons but bipolar disorder certainly played its part.

In a perfect world, I would like to quit smoking. Yes, I smoke. I know it’s bad. I don’t like that I smoke…yet I really don’t want to stop…yet I do…*sigh*

I have been missing church way more than I care to. The last time I missed church this much I was going through some major depression but since then I have just found it really difficult to get back into the swing of things.

That being said, regardless of church, I could stand to be saying my prayers more often. I don’t really “pray” I just sort of talk to God in my head. I don’t hear any voices reply so I figure that’s a good sign my mental health is fairly stable lol but God always responds to my prayers. I love God for that. He’s more action than talk. Sometimes He doesn’t act right away but on the bright side, it makes me exercise patience and faith. God acts when it truly counts.<3

You know what’s nice? Being in a relationship where big blow out fights are NOT the norm. Not even close. I was starting to think that didn’t exist. When you finally pull yourself out of that vicious cycle of constantly picking the wrong apples, you realize just how much of that can exasperate bipolar symptoms. Now that I am finally in a stable, loving relationship, sometimes I forget I even have bipolar disorder…of course I get reminders but not nearly as bad as before.

Regardless of your mental state…make a point to surround yourself with the right people…seriously, it makes a huge difference.

I keep a very small, tight knit circle of people around me. Mainly my family. This is in part because of the burns I suffered as a functioning alcoholic ( I was going to say borderline alcoholic but looking back, who am I kidding?)

I thought that the karaoke bar flies I mingled with were truly my friends…then one day I realized…I don’t know these people outside of the bar. I don’t know them by day or sober…I say and do stupid crap thinking it’s all fun and games. At the time, I thought my social life was truly booming. Oh yeah…I was the bees knees in my drunken book…

When I look back at that time, I don’t even know who that girl was…I’m past being ashamed about it but it’s still cringe worthy.

Not really sure why I brought that up but maybe I am working through my writer’s block in real time…like I said, this is going to be random lol

Speaking of random, is it just me or does Earl Grey tea smell like Fruit Loops? I love both ❀

Also, I have a confession to make…I’m a nerd. A gamer to be exact. My finance and I recently bought Elder Scrolls Online for our PS4…I loooove this game. ❀ If you are a fellow gamer and you don’t have Elder Scrolls Online, you are seriously missing out. Of course you have to be into MMORPG (Massive Multi Player Online Role Playing Game). Fellow nerds and gamers will totally get what I am saying here…the rest of you…just ignore this section of the post lol.

I promise this randomness is not mania by the way. I am on my night shift right now and totally bored. Super glad I enjoy writing. It passes the time and is therapeutic for me. A win win.

Speaking of therapeutic, music does the trick as well. I love when I am alone and can crank up the tunes and sign along…sometimes I do a little dance…it’s me time and something no one will ever witness lol

Music videos however…wow are they getting rather umm…demonic in nature. Like what is with all the devil worship? I feel like music videos have become rather pornographic with a dash of Illuminati symbolism…ok not a dash…blatant. I can’t be the only one who sees this…Like not long ago I saw Taylor Swift’s “Look What You Made Me Do” video and all I can say is…who made you go from “Teardrops On My Guitar” to umm…that?

And does anyone remember Kesha’s “Die Young” video? Super catchy tune but wow nothing like a santanic ritual to spice things up. It’s like all these pop songs have a very addictive melody while you watch…well… satan worship for lack of a better term and now she’s singing songs about praying and such… I’m confused…are we being brainwashed perhaps?

I guess at this point I need to stop rambling but I will leave you with this recap and words of wisdom:

  1. Know that God is watching over you. Always ❀
  2. Keep your friends close and your enemies as far away as possible.
  3. A healthy environment makes ALL the difference.
  4. If you live with mental illness or someone you care about does, keep the lines of communication open. It’s hard sometimes but it can literally save your life.
  5. The change of the seasons can affect mental illness. Be mindful of this.
  6. Don’t watch music videos? I’ll let you decide on that one.
  7. Earl Grey tea really does smell like Fruit Loops. I have decided this just now. Case closed.
  8. Being a nerd is OK. Embrace it ❀
  9. Smoking is bad…if you’re a smoker like me…I get it. It’s bad but don’t worry, you’re not ❀
  10. Taylor Swift went to the dark side…she said it herself “The old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, cause she’s dead.”
  11. I love to sing and dance to music…when I’m alone…like totally alone lol
  12. This randomness is brought to you by night shift boredom. I hope it was somewhat entertaining/informative.


Take Care & God Bless ❀









The Little Things

Hey guys πŸ™‚

Today, I feel the need to take a personal inventory of what’s good in my life. Things are not bad right now, I simply just want to add to what’s already good. I like to build up those reserves for when the next storm hits. I prefer to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

So what do I have to be grateful for? Well, a lot actually. The last year has blessed me more than my 33 years of existence.

For starters, just over a year ago I finally put an end to an unhealthy relationship (there were others just as unhealthy prior to). This required a lot of inner strength that I didn’t think I had.

I was living on one side of the country and picked up and left for home on the other side of the country. It wasn’t planned, it just happened.

One day after a minor argument, my finance at the time went out. I don’t know what happened, it’s not like it was some blowout fight but for some reason in that moment there was an overwhelming fight or flight response. By the time he came home I had booked a plane ticket (I chose flight) and told him I couldn’t do this anymore. I knew that if I didn’t follow through this time, it was going to be a long time before I had the guts to try again.

God was surely with me that day.

Needless to say I am grateful for that moment because as soon as I moved home my brother introduced me to his friend. My brother’s friend is now my fiance. This all happened quite quickly. I had no intention of finding love after what I had just left but isn’t that always the way?

I found out a little later my brother was playing the role of matchmaker. He knows my struggles well…especially in relationships and so I am glad he sneaked in there and helped me to find a good apple this time. πŸ™‚

To finally be in a healthy, truly loving relationship is something I almost gave up on but when I was ready to let all of that go, God blessed me for it.

So yeah that’s what kick started a healthy, consistent, loving environment which I had been lacking for a very long time. It was scary at first. I wasn’t used to this healthy stuff and wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it lol but over time I embraced it and I continue to hang on to it with everything I got because I will never allow someone to take that from me again…including me! Gone are the days of self sabotage and you are talking to the former queen of it but I have since hung up my crown lol someone else can have it.

So yes moving on to present day, what do I currently have to be grateful for? Let me count the ways :

  1. God
  2. My wonderful soon to be husband
  3. My family/friends of course ❀
  4. A roof over my head, food, gas…you know the everyday stuff
  5. Did I mention the bills are paid? Take that bills! (for now lol)
  6. The cats<3. Truthfully I should have just included them in #3
  7. The church. Great pastor and wonderful people
  8. My job (there’s a first) love my job!
  9. Good neighbors and a great landlord.
  10. Country living…oh how I have missed home after 10 years of city living.
  11. Being the cool aunt. My fiance and I are fine without children personally but my nieces and nephews? Yeah don’t mess with them because you will see this aunt go from zero to mother hen in an instant.
  12. Standing up for myself (it’s been a slow process but it’s getting easier…almost fun! lol)
  13. My ability to express myself through writing.
  14. Giving myself credit (again, long overdue)
  15. Knowing I have a best friend in my partner. He truly is my best friend ❀
  16. A sense of humor. Although sometimes dark, my sense of humor has helped me survive a lot of crap.
  17. Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Yes you read that right. If I had never reached a place where I was aware of my disorder I would still be out there drowning in a dark sea. I believe knowledge is power and knowing is half the battle. Now that I know better I do better…I know, a string of cliches there but it’s all true.
  18. Being able to see the silver lining in just about everything. I will never let go of that. It holds a lot of power and gives me a sense of control. You can let stuff bring you down or you can counterattack with a list just like this.
  19. Patience. I always have that in my back pocket.
  20. Resilience. I can say this with confidence about myself and my family….we always get back up…always. We have God to thank for that and no matter what is going down in my life, God makes sure I can reach his hand. Even if he has to drag me along, as long as my hand is out he will take it ❀


Take Care & God Bless ❀