Hey guys 🙂
So Monday is here again which means normally I would be posting Monday Mantra.
Today’s mantra is not so much a mantra as it is me needing to connect. I’ve been hurting inside. More than I realised. Last night I think was the first night I truly cried about everything and anything since making my life changing move 4 months ago.
I try my best to be a positive person. We should all strive for that but part of being a positive person is allowing ourselves to let go of the not so good stuff.
In the last two weeks, many things that I thought I had a handle on started to crumble. It’s funny how a series of seemingly small events can add up to one giant title wave of emotion and wow did that wave come crashing down hard.
Since being taken off my medication for anxiety a month ago, I felt like I didn’t have my usual armor to shield me from such overwhelming emotions. You feel like you have no skin and everything that touches you is raw…it hurts.
I’ve prayed more since my breakup and move across the country. It’s funny how God doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we expect Him to. In my case I thought I could just cry alone and pray and that God would make everything go away…turns out that’s not quite how things work.
In the end I found myself finally letting things go in the arms of a true angel. I am with a man who knows me better than I know myself at times. I was not expecting to find such a wonderful person when I made the move to start over. I was not even looking for a man let alone another relationship but he’s been there for me every step of the way. In ways I didn’t even know I needed but he knows and this time he didn’t allow me to bottle things up… That is love beyond compare in my eyes.
So I cried, and cried…and…you get the idea…
The thing is, sometimes there are no words for the hurt in your life. Sometimes it’s all just emotions and it’s so important to find a safe place to let those emotions go. Writing has always been an outlet for me in that regard because I express myself better in writing than I do in person. I know there are others out there with no words… just emotions…who may not want to or feel like writing but who need read the words of another knowing there is someone out there who can relate.
So I find myself today starting fresh despite the recent tears of yesterday. I choose to take things one day at a time…one minute at a time if need be. There is no shame in that. For those of you out there who may be hurting with no place to turn just know that I feel you and if you feel you can connect with me than please do. We all need a safe place to go when times get tough.
Like I mentioned earlier, it’s important to let the bad stuff go so that we can make room for the good stuff/people in our lives.
Philippians 4:6-7Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Take Care ❤