Why You Need To Start Treating Your Life Like A Business

Hey guys 🙂

Wow. What a week it has been. I will spare you the details because I would end up spending all my time talking about it and personally, I just want to move forward and look for the silver linings. 🙂

The week I have had ties into what I want to touch on today. So I will start with this question –

What if we lived our lives as if we were running a business?

I have pondered this question many times and have even applied this concept to my own life and I have to say, it’s rather effective.

If you were to start a “life ledger” what would it look like? Is the business that is you generating a surplus or are you finding yourself in the red more than you’d care to be?

In my mind, a life ledger would be quite basic and look something like this:

  • Assets – What do you and the people around you, bring into your life that is positive? Are there enough assets to cover the liabilities in your life?
  • Liabilities –  We all have responsibilities in life. That will never change but I imagine there are many of you who, if you looked at your life ledger right now would see you take on more liabilities than is necessary. This can make or break the business that is you.

Starting today, it’s time to balance the books. For the sake of the business, we need to start letting go of some of the liabilities we have taken on .

The numbers don’t lie.

If your life is currently in the red, look at your ledger. Perhaps you will start to see some patterns.

I certainly have past liabilities that needed to go as it almost put me out of business more than once.

A good source of our life income comes from the connections we make with other people. Anyone who runs a literal business will tell you that connections count and keep a business afloat.

No clients, no business.

However, some clients can in fact hurt your business. You spend all your time and energy on this particular client yet the return on that investment turns out to be a waste of time.

This client keeps the purse strings tight and are high maintenance. Their loyalty to your business only benefits them, not you.

This is hands down a liability and whether you believe it or not, this is one liability you can scratch off your books ASAP.

They are not helping your business, they are sucking you dry and that time and energy could be better spent making room for a new client who is willing to work with you and for you.

This kind of client truly appreciates your service and you appreciate their business.

Do you see how this concept can easily be applied to our lives? Do you have that long time friend, significant other or even family member that you’ve hung on to simply because they have been part of the furniture for so long?

Ask yourself. How is this person an asset to my life? Why am I going into debt over this person? In some cases that question can be asked quite literally.

If you find yourself pausing to answer that question, then I challenge you to dust off your life ledger and look for the patterns.

For example, if this person was on your bank statement, chances are they would show up as multiple, micro transactions.

Useless spending.

These micro transactions add up and if we’re not paying attention to them we can lose out big time and not even know why…until we look  honestly at the numbers.

This can also apply to your current job. In this case we’re talking real numbers but it all ties into the business that is you.

Are you unhappy with your job? Is showing up to work everyday with dread worth the paycheck?

Is the time you invest into your job paying off for you or for everyone else?

Let’s say you work 8 hours a day for a modest pay. That modest pay in most cases is going to everyone but you. The time you invest into your job is many times an expense on your life ledger.

You get paid and pay the bills and if you are not happy with your job on top of that, what is left for you exactly?

Many of us fall into the trap of believing that if we can just get our finances in order everything else will fall into place but honestly, how often does that truly work out?

The truth is, we need to get our life in order. Have you ever thought that perhaps if you did that first your financial struggles would in fact resolve themselves or at the very least, improve?

Some of you may think I’m a bit bonkers to suggest you stop looking at your bank account and look to your life ledger first but the way I see it, perhaps you struggle financially because you haven’t balanced your life ledger.

Therefore, you may be making poor decisions (financial included) due to a lack of life assets.

If we reverse that, you may see that by taking care of you first, you are in a better position mentally and emotionally for making better overall decisions, have the confidence to take on a better job opportunity for example instead of convincing yourself that leaving your steady, yet totally depressing job is the only way.

Make yourself an asset! We are our own worst enemy sometimes. Don’t be your own liability on top of the ones you already juggle.

Now for those of you protesting that the bills need to get paid and you have children to support, I get you. I am not saying to go into work tomorrow and just go down in a ball of flames, yelling something about your life ledger to your boss…lol please don’t do that.

What I am saying, is that it is not too late to come up with a life plan and in this case, a financial plan that will truly be to the benefit of your business.

It’s a cliche job interview question but where do you see yourself in 5 years? If you can’t answer that question, what has prevented you from setting goals which will benefit your future?

Setting goals that benefit you both personally and financially, will ultimately benefit the ones you care about most and in return, the ones you care about are better able to support you and help to keep your life business grow and stay strong.

It’s never too late to balance the book of life but in order to do that, we need to read the numbers and accept them for what they are. No more grey areas. No more fudging the numbers to make them balance. Accept the entry errors as errors and correct them. Question the imbalances instead of simply writing them off.

Sometimes, this will involve making tough decisions but if you were running a real business and the decision was the difference between staying in business or not…the decision wouldn’t be all that hard. What business wants to shut down?

So apply that concept to yourself. You will find that by taking this approach, the liabilities that are risking your life business will stick out like a sore thumb. It will be obvious what cuts need to be made and it is my hope that if this post speaks to you, you will open up that life ledger and get down to business! ❤

 

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Letting Go Of “Daddy Issues”

Hey guys 🙂

I’m not exactly sure how I got to this topic but I think it’s one worth talking about.

The term “daddy issues” is usually directed towards women and their hot mess of past relationships…I should know, I would qualify as a women with said issues.

That being said, I don’t care for the term. It seems rather sexist in nature. A less than stellar father throws his daughter to the wolves and she has “daddy issues” yet it seems a man with the same type of father is extended some sympathy. Just my two cents.

The main point I want to make however is the fact that when the biological father dismisses his role it impacts the future of sons and daughters alike.

For example, my biological father was abusive towards my mother. Physically and emotionally. He was abusive in the same way towards me and my brothers. He cheated on my mother multiple times and ultimately his last cheating episode would be with my mother’s sister…yep…stay classy dad…

Oddly enough my father is still with my mother’s sister to this day and I can guarantee you she is being treated the same way my mother was…but hey she wanted him…she insisted on having him with no regard for anyone but herself…they deserve each other.

I have been home for a little over a year now and my father lives right here in this tiny town yet I have never crossed paths with him once…my brother had the “privilege”  of crossing paths with him at the mall one day…my father made brief eye contact and kept walking.

Despite this, I still wonder about my father. I feel that his current circumstances are a snowball of past ones.

My father had a very rough childhood. His father beat him, and when his mother ultimately left his father she would find herself  in a string of abusive relationships and would take my father along for the ride. No child should have to go through that.

Later in life, my father would be told he had what was then called manic depression. My father rejected this claim and never bothered to seek treatment. It’s unfortunate during that time, you still didn’t talk about things like mental illness.

I wonder what my father’s life would have been like if he had went ahead with treatment. At his core my father is not a bad person…he’s a lost one.

I have not spoken to or seen my father in nearly 13 years. I have a wonderful father figure in my life who I consider to be my father at this point. My mother managed to survive that whole ordeal and end up with a wonderful man. He’s wonderful to all of us and I have nothing but mad love for him ❤ It makes me happy to see my mother thrive after all she has been through. She deserves it and then some. ❤

That being said, I suppose I am somewhat traditional in nature. My father may have given up his title but he is still my father by blood. In between all the mess, my father and I did share some good times and I like to try and remember those little moments as opposed to all the negative ones.

I feel I managed to get some of his better traits. He is the type of man who will give you the clothes off his back. He used to have his own business repairing electronics and he was always good and fair to his customers. His people skills have always been through the roof and I like to think I inherited some of that.

My father is also incredibly smart…I like to think I got a little of that too.

He also introduced me to awesome music. Queen, CCR, Boston, Journey…the classics that I still love to this day.

Lastly, my father played an instrumental role in introducing me and my brother’s to God. We said our prayers with him at night. He would read the bible to us after supper. He was and I hope he still is, a firm believer in God and I sincerely hope God is watching over him.

I have to say both my parents play a part in my spiritual beliefs but I always felt like I had an extra bond with my father on that level.

I look at present day and I wonder when I will cross paths with my father again if ever. Perhaps at his funeral? Provided I even know about it. I know it sounds so morbid but when I do manage to talk about my father it’s always in past tense as if he has already passed away…

Fathers, don’t be a distant memory to your children. Don’t leave them with little moments that they will try to hang on to despite all you have put them through. Don’t let your past become your children’s.

I am not trying to take away the impact of a mother’s actions. It happens on both sides of the coin but there is something about a strong father including a father figure that is crucial to the development of a child. If you are a father with a difficult past, choose to rise above it and show your children what it really means to be a father. Be the one who breaks the cycle of abuse and start a new generation of healthy and happy adults…who will show their children the strong and awesome example you laid out for them ❤

Proverbs 20:7

The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him!

 

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mental Break – In Progress Update

Hey guys! 🙂

I know it has been some time since I have written anything here. The main reason being, I have reached a crossroads in which direction I would like to take Mental Break – In Progress.

Technically, I have had this blog for over two years now. The original premise was to create awareness about mental illness in order to combat the stigma associated with it and also to have an outlet and connect with others through something I have always loved and that is writing.

About eight months ago now, I went through some serious life changes and in the process I felt it necessary to delete my blog entirely. In hindsight, I wish I had given it some more thought before hitting the delete button. Two years of written work gone. Just like that!

After considering my actions, I decided no, I don’t truly want to give up my blog so I resurrected it and made an attempt to carry out the original blueprint but something changed…

I changed.

The blog and it’s current format does not speak to me like it once did and therefore I have struggled to write on the topic of mental illness that once came so easily to me.

After much deliberation, I feel I now know the new direction I would like to take Mental Break – In Progress and although I am not looking to turn my back on the original concept, it’s time for that concept to align with where I am in my life today.

As mentioned earlier, about eight months ago my life changed, in the best way possible. On July 1st, 2016 I turned to God to help me for the first time since I was a child.

I was raised to believe in God and went to church from an early age. I said my prayers every night before bed and my father would read the Bible to me and my brothers every night after supper. This would go on until I was around ten years old when my parents ultimately divorced. You see, even though God was present in our home, so was the devil. My home life for much of my childhood was surrounded with mental illness and abuse.

My father was technically diagnosed with bipolar disorder but did not follow through with therapy or treatment. He did not believe that he needed it. My father was also abusive.

Before I go any further, I need to make it clear that I am not trying to say all people with a mental illness are abusive because that is simply not true. The abuse in my family’s case was primarily from my father, whose father and mother were abusive to him and most likely my grandparents parents were abusive to them and so on and so forth.

My mother also comes from a line of family abuse and found herself in a marriage with more abuse. Needless to say, this took a toll on my mother and did not bring out the best in her.

As I entered into adulthood, I would end up finding myself in abusive relationships and I would retaliate with abuse…not my finest hour to say the least but the biggest form of abuse I endured was self abuse.

My entire 20’s was spent in a downward spiral to nowhere and during that time, I lost my way with God. I turned my back on Him. I doubted the word of the Bible, that God was truly watching over me and I scoffed at Christians and organized religion assuming that every church going person, despite their choice of religion, was feeding into a fraudulent, flawed and political agenda.

Now in some cases, that is true and there has been more than one church over the course of time that fits that bill but there are also many that don’t but at that point I just lumped it all together.

Like I said, I turned away from God and I started to focus on things like astrology, tarot cards, numerology…New Age philosophy and the list goes on. I was extremely interested in those subjects and I practiced them. They were my new found spirituality yet at the pit of my gut, God still lingered (although He was a faint light at the time). The thought of a Higher Power still existed in my mind but I attempted to call it everything but God.

Needless to say, during this time, nothing in my life was going right and the self abuse continued to get worse and worse.

When I hit my 30th birthday, something started to change. Perhaps it goes along with starting a new decade of your life. When I turned 30, I cried and I am not entirely sure why. Perhaps it was because I was so far removed from where I thought I should be in life and really had no direction that is until I started this blog.

Oddly enough, being diagnosed with bipolar disorder is when I feel my life truly started to take shape. Many people use their mental illness as a crutch but for some reason, I felt liberated by the experience.

As I started receiving therapy and treatment, I started to notice something. I was changing in a positive way and the people I surrounded myself with were not.

Two years later I would call out to God to help me after finally having enough of the self abuse and the toxic environment I insisted on putting myself in over and over again. It turns out God was waiting for this moment because as soon as I called out to Him, my life changed more than it had in 32 years.

That same day, I left a six year relationship that was not serving either party well and I hopped a plane and moved back to my home town to be closer to my family who had recently in the last year moved back home as well. This would be the first time in nearly a decade that our entire family would be together in person and not spread over long distances and Facebook messaging.

I was prepared to live alone and find myself. I had jumped from relationship to relationship with mild success at best and I was tired of it. I wanted to find me and felt the only way to accomplish that was to avoid romantic relationships entirely.

God on the other hand had other plans for me. When I arrived home my brother introduced me to his friend “D”. D and I discovered we had lots in common and in a short amount of time we found ourselves in love and are currently engaged.

Now on paper it could be argued that I was about to repeat the same mistakes but because I had asked God for help, he not only helped me but blessed me with my soulmate and to be honest, I was beginning to think the idea of a soulmate was foolish and a bunch of fluff.

D and I were on a similar path when we met. We had experienced much of the same hardships in life and self abuse and we both were trying to rekindle our relationship with God and so we took each others hand and started that journey together.

Eight months ago, I would not have fathomed this was possible. I would have told you to save it for fairytales.

So why am I telling you all of this? What does this story have to do with my blog?

Well, it explains the new direction I want to take my blog and that is the direction of God. Just as medication and therapy treats mental illnesses, so too does the word of God. God knows we are suffering and He wants to help you. He didn’t have to help me after everything I had done (or not done for that matter) but He did.

God cannot help us if we do not ask but when we do ask – Wow! He responds in kind. You help yourself by admitting you need help and as soon as you do that, God is so excited to help you.

I want to continue down my new found path with God through this blog and it is my hope that not only can I spread the awareness of mental illness but also the spiritual awakening I am currently navigating. It’s not always going to be pretty. I will stumble and fall. We all do and it may feel like no one has your back but I am here to tell you, God does. You don’t have to agree and I can only speak for myself but I can’t hide anymore and I don’t want to. I want to explore my faith openly.

I hope you will join me on my journey and I look forward to seeing where Mental Break- In Progress 2.0 will take me. I plan to revamp the blog over time to reflect this new path I am on so if you would like, stay tuned for more updates. 🙂 ❤

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Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle