The Little Things

Hey guys 🙂

Today, I feel the need to take a personal inventory of what’s good in my life. Things are not bad right now, I simply just want to add to what’s already good. I like to build up those reserves for when the next storm hits. I prefer to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

So what do I have to be grateful for? Well, a lot actually. The last year has blessed me more than my 33 years of existence.

For starters, just over a year ago I finally put an end to an unhealthy relationship (there were others just as unhealthy prior to). This required a lot of inner strength that I didn’t think I had.

I was living on one side of the country and picked up and left for home on the other side of the country. It wasn’t planned, it just happened.

One day after a minor argument, my finance at the time went out. I don’t know what happened, it’s not like it was some blowout fight but for some reason in that moment there was an overwhelming fight or flight response. By the time he came home I had booked a plane ticket (I chose flight) and told him I couldn’t do this anymore. I knew that if I didn’t follow through this time, it was going to be a long time before I had the guts to try again.

God was surely with me that day.

Needless to say I am grateful for that moment because as soon as I moved home my brother introduced me to his friend. My brother’s friend is now my fiance. This all happened quite quickly. I had no intention of finding love after what I had just left but isn’t that always the way?

I found out a little later my brother was playing the role of matchmaker. He knows my struggles well…especially in relationships and so I am glad he sneaked in there and helped me to find a good apple this time. 🙂

To finally be in a healthy, truly loving relationship is something I almost gave up on but when I was ready to let all of that go, God blessed me for it.

So yeah that’s what kick started a healthy, consistent, loving environment which I had been lacking for a very long time. It was scary at first. I wasn’t used to this healthy stuff and wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it lol but over time I embraced it and I continue to hang on to it with everything I got because I will never allow someone to take that from me again…including me! Gone are the days of self sabotage and you are talking to the former queen of it but I have since hung up my crown lol someone else can have it.

So yes moving on to present day, what do I currently have to be grateful for? Let me count the ways :

  1. God
  2. My wonderful soon to be husband
  3. My family/friends of course ❤
  4. A roof over my head, food, gas…you know the everyday stuff
  5. Did I mention the bills are paid? Take that bills! (for now lol)
  6. The cats<3. Truthfully I should have just included them in #3
  7. The church. Great pastor and wonderful people
  8. My job (there’s a first) love my job!
  9. Good neighbors and a great landlord.
  10. Country living…oh how I have missed home after 10 years of city living.
  11. Being the cool aunt. My fiance and I are fine without children personally but my nieces and nephews? Yeah don’t mess with them because you will see this aunt go from zero to mother hen in an instant.
  12. Standing up for myself (it’s been a slow process but it’s getting easier…almost fun! lol)
  13. My ability to express myself through writing.
  14. Giving myself credit (again, long overdue)
  15. Knowing I have a best friend in my partner. He truly is my best friend ❤
  16. A sense of humor. Although sometimes dark, my sense of humor has helped me survive a lot of crap.
  17. Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Yes you read that right. If I had never reached a place where I was aware of my disorder I would still be out there drowning in a dark sea. I believe knowledge is power and knowing is half the battle. Now that I know better I do better…I know, a string of cliches there but it’s all true.
  18. Being able to see the silver lining in just about everything. I will never let go of that. It holds a lot of power and gives me a sense of control. You can let stuff bring you down or you can counterattack with a list just like this.
  19. Patience. I always have that in my back pocket.
  20. Resilience. I can say this with confidence about myself and my family….we always get back up…always. We have God to thank for that and no matter what is going down in my life, God makes sure I can reach his hand. Even if he has to drag me along, as long as my hand is out he will take it ❤

 

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

 

 

 

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Checking In

So in my last two posts I have mentioned going through a medication change/withdrawal. It’s been a bit of a bumpy ride but that being said I see the dust starting to settle and today I am feeling especially grateful.

When I moved home back in July, I started looking for a place to live and a place to work. I have a place to live – check…I did have a job… check?

The thing is, the first job was not for me…I knew this in my gut but I decided to give things a chance anyway…my gut was right. My gut is always right and in this particular instance I was not too thrilled about it but I bit the bullet and left before it became too much.

Turns out call center work is not my calling.

The whole time I’ve been home I have been thinking about applying for a job at a restaurant just up the road from where I live but I put it on the backburner to go for the call center job because it seemed like the better deal. When that didn’t pan out I thought of the restaurant again except this time I was worried I had shot myself in the foot by not going for it the first time.

I bit the bullet again and… it paid off. I start my shift at the restaurant today for some training. I’m going to be a cook there. I am excited. I love working hands on and moving around. It doesn’t hurt I also have restaurant experience under my belt so this is not my first rodeo.

Did I mention I can walk to work in under 10 mins? As someone who has yet to acquire a drivers license this is a huge relief.

I have prayed a lot since my move home. As mentioned in my last post, prayer is powerful. I feel my prayers were answered today and I pray I continue my journey with a steady paycheck.

For those of you feeling the struggle. Pray. Even if you don’t believe in anything or anyone at least believe in yourself…and pray. I don’t care if you pray to a rock. At the very least give it a chance. You may be pleasantly surprised by what transpires when you do. If you don’t want to pray, no worries I will pray for you 🙂

Anyhoooo, that wraps up today’s post. I will keep you in the loop as things evolve. I am just taking things one day at a time.

Take Care ❤

Cavelle