Be Still

Please be still

He knows you’re ill  

As you try in vain to find Him

The doctors

The nurses

They block your view

But He’s standing right behind them

Your fears are real

He knows this well

He’s trying to subside them

But please

Be still

Let Him work on you

And please 

Do not deny Him

A dose of faith

A dose of trust

You have to commit

This is a must

The power of prayer

May it reach you

Pray for yourself

He can teach you

Open your heart

Quiet your mind

Sing all His praises

His voice you shall find

In His name

Be still ❤

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

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Why I Don’t Want Children

Hey guys 🙂

I already wrote a post earlier but it’s been a rather slow night here on my night shift. I refuse to be bored, so I turn to my writing for comfort.

As a lady in my early/entering mid 30’s (I’ll be 34 in December) it seems that society encourages that I should really get on that baby train soon or I might miss it.

I need to stress before I go any further, this post is not about hating on mothers or children for that matter, it’s just for some of us, children are not in the cards.

For some, the reasons for not having children are beyond control and for others like me, it’s a conscious decision.

Let me also make note of the fact, that I consider myself to have been a mother already. When I was younger I had a miscarriage. It was a very difficult time.

The relationship I was in was not healthy/abusive and when I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend at the time didn’t seem all that shocked.

Did I mention that he admitted to getting me pregnant on purpose two weeks after I found out and right before I would be starting college?

Apparently, this was suppose to bring us “closer together”. I suppose you are questioning how could my ex have gotten me pregnant on purpose. Was there no birth control? Sigh, there was not at the time but there was trust (in that respect)…or at least there was suppose to be.

Miscarriages are all too common unfortunately but the loss is real and you never stop wondering about your child who could have been.

Before I found out I was pregnant, there was one night when my girlfriends and I decided to have a girls night out. I remember my boyfriend at the time was putting up a fuss that I wanted to go but I thought he was just being a jerk as things between us had been on a downward spiral for some time and so I went out, had drinks and a grand ole time.

This event would be thrown back in my face.

After my miscarriage, I had little support emotionally and otherwise from him.

One night, we had a huge argument regarding the event and in the heat of the moment he told me that I wouldn’t have lost the baby had I had stayed home that night.

To this day, that statement can still sting. That statement would keep me in a state of guilt and depression for some time.

How could he have the audacity to blame me when he knew before I left that night what he had already done?

The choice to have a baby was not mine in this case and despite that, I was excited and prepared to carry to term.

But the choice to keep the baby was taken from me. This would prove to be for the best but at the time it was devastating.

I felt violated, betrayed and I also felt completely out of control. Decisions were made for me without any consideration.

Not a good feeling.

My miscarriage experience landed me in the emergency room. I was hemorrhaging at a dangerous rate and there are some parts of that event that are still so vivid.

Two days before Christmas…five days before my birthday…

So yes, a rather dark story but the good news is, I persevered through that time in my life. ❤

For the most part, I have made peace with it all but it took a long time and sometimes it still haunts me 10 years later.

You never forget something like that but it is possible to move forward.

I have spent the majority of my life making the same mistakes over and over again. I spent the majority of my life mentally ill, unaware that I had bipolar disorder.

It has only been in the last year that I have truly started to get my life together and I have to tell you, this new found freedom, this healthier me, I love it and I want nothing or no one to interfere with that…and yes that includes children.

I don’t think I need to tell you that having a child is a lifelong commitment and while I will not argue with people the fact that kids are life changing and there’s nothing like it, that’s kind of my point. It is life changing, it is a huge commitment and if I am truly honest with myself, I want to commit to me for once.

I want my freedom.

I am not willing to commit to having a child. Is that selfish of me to say?

As a woman, sometimes you think people will frown upon that statement but I would rather be honest then cave to social pressures, use my body for it’s biological purpose but ultimately grow to resent my child in the process.

Speaking of social pressures, having a kid in this world we live in today?

No thanks.

I personally feel like the world is full of so much PC rhetoric that I honestly want no part of having to juggle a kid along with that…I read all these stories about the issues parents have had to deal with at their kid’s school for example…I don’t have patience for such things and I refuse to allow myself or my hypothetical child for that matter, get caught up in crap like that.

I have mentioned having bipolar disorder. My father and brother also have bipolar disorder. There is a hereditary component to the illness and personally, I don’t like the idea of putting my child at risk for that.

Sure, I would be able to see the signs faster than most and have it treated much earlier but again, if I am being honest, I have enough of a time taking care of myself in that department. I am not sure I could or want to handle having children based on that.

OK, so now for an obvious reason.

My husband to be had a vasectomy during a previous relationship so that kind of takes children off the table. I think in some cases the procedure can be reversed but as it turns out my fiance and I are both on the same page here so it’s really a non issue for us.

We have lived similar lives and we both feel the need to focus on ourselves and each other. We have stability in our lives and we’re really not willing to rock that boat. We get by financially and we’re comfortable for once.

Another reason I would rather not have a child…they cost a ton of money that would tip the financial scales out of our favor. I am not about to have a child I am not financially prepared for.

That being said, I love children. I am an aunt of 3 nephews, 1 niece and 1 niece on the way in November. I love being the cool aunt. ❤ I love being a mentor.

So I may not want children of my own but I certainly love the idea of being there for children who have been cast aside. It’s an epidemic and one that just should not be.

I can see myself one day adopting perhaps or even being a foster parent. I would rather help and love the children (so many) who are already here with no family, no place to turn, no love and security, than bring a new child into this world.

I don’t prefer to be a mother in the traditional sense but I feel I can certainly be a mother of sorts to children who really need one.

I will always advocate for children. ❤

They didn’t ask to be brought into this world and so it’s our duty as a society (I feel) to take care of the innocent before creating new innocents.

Again, this is not to “mom shame” anyone but we all have a story and this one happens to be mine. I know there are many women like myself afraid to speak up about the other side of the fence because it seems to be assumed that all women want to be mothers and that is simply just not true and I am here to tell you –

 

That is perfectly OK. ❤

 

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Reason We’re Obsessed With Animals And Not God.

Hey Guys 🙂

In the age of social media, we probably read more stories and see more pictures of animals than ever before.

Why is that?

I don’t know the exact answer but I do have my own theory.

Besides children, animals are the most innocent creatures on the planet. In a world that seems to be going to hell in a hand basket, there is not much left out there that is pure.

I feel that many of us cling to the pure innocence of animals (and children) as a way to cope with the world we live in today.

Animals are God’s creation. One we can see and hear. It’s tangible and since we are mere humans, we can’t help but see and hear to believe.

I for one am a huge animal lover. I fully admit that. When I see videos about dogs for example that have been abused and nursed back to health I cry. When I see pictures and videos of animals doing adorable things, I feel warm and fuzzy.

Animals have been known to provide healing for those of us suffering from illness in multiple forms.

Animals love unconditionally.

That is my theory in a nutshell and now I want to take a detour on the subject…

If we can extend that kind of love and adoration to animals, children and the like, why is it so many of us turn our backs to God? Why are so many of us on the fence or not even close to the fence at all regarding His presence?

God is the most pure, most divine, most loving. He is the Alpha and Omega. He is the healer. He loves us despite our sins. Animals are simply an extension of that in the physical form.

Everything we see around us – children, nature, animals. That is God’s doing! He knows the destiny of this earth. He understands more than anyone the suffering that the world endures now and that more is to come in the future. He has promised to deliver us from all of this.

We just have to believe.

So again, why do so many people turn their back with doubt and even spit at that notion?

Because we can’t see it. We can’t hear it but if you read the bible there are multiple accounts of  Jesus healing the literal blind and deaf through the power of God. They believed. They followed God’s instructions and they were healed and saved.

In fact, if you think God is not here in the physical form then in my opinion, you misunderstand that God is everywhere. You just have to open your heart. Stop thinking s assuming that God is a physical being. He is so much more than that. Quiet your mind and observe your surroundings. If you truly open your mind, heart and soul you will see God everyday.

God is the wind, the rain, the sun, the moon, the mountains, the ocean, the animals, the children…you have probably passed him on the street none the wiser.

He comes to us in all forms nudging us to acknowledge Him, to accept Him, to love Him as He does us…

Believe in Him.

We must trust God’s word and in an age where someone’s word doesn’t go far anymore, it’s understandable the doubts we may have that God is real and that He is coming back for us.

He is. ❤

So in closing, be careful when obsessing over God’s creation thinking it’s a separate entity and is in some way above God. Nothing on this earth is. Not even your own children for we here on earth are in fact His children. We are all created in His image and it’s time we start representing that more and more as the world grows dark.

Be the extension of God like the animals, nature and children. Embrace the purity, be the healer, the believer, the messenger.

Be obsessed with God in all that you do and you will see He is all around you always and forever. ❤

 

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

 

 

Share The Love!

Hey guys 🙂

I apologize for dropping off the blogosphere in the last two weeks. As some of you know, I started a new job and I have gone from not using my brain in 3 months to now having it stuffed to the brim with information. I love it but it has not given me tons of time to sit down and write. I will get my groove back as I adjust so please bear with me in the meantime. 😉

Now that I have that out of the way, I want to share something with you. I have connected with someone who I feel could help a lot of people here and someone who has helped so many already!

Her name is Shannon Marie and I would like to introduce who she is and what she does. 🙂

Shannon’s story is truly inspiring indeed! She has managed to take the dark moments in her life and turn them around and create her own business in the process. Shannon is in the business of empowering women. ❤

“I guide women to activate healing within so they can live life purposely on their spiritual journey”

Shannon is a Self-Love, Mindfulness & Personal Development Mentor. It is Shannon’s goal to help women like herself leave that dark cloud behind them. As women, it is so important that we lift each other up. Shannon’s mission is close to my heart as I can relate to her past on many levels including abusive relationships and substance abuse.

I invite you to learn more about Shannon by visiting her via the link below 🙂

http://www.shannonhipson.ca/

Also, it just so happens Shannon has a webinar coming up! 🙂

April 7th, 2017 @ 8PM Atlantic Time

Shannon Hipson

https://zoom.us/webinar/register/b8173d85775e0dc2cde7dc3c8da9331e

This would be a great way to meet, connect and support Shannon. I plan to attend myself so maybe I’ll see you there! ❤

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle