Hey guys 🙂
Today, I feel the need to take a personal inventory of what’s good in my life. Things are not bad right now, I simply just want to add to what’s already good. I like to build up those reserves for when the next storm hits. I prefer to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
So what do I have to be grateful for? Well, a lot actually. The last year has blessed me more than my 33 years of existence.
For starters, just over a year ago I finally put an end to an unhealthy relationship (there were others just as unhealthy prior to). This required a lot of inner strength that I didn’t think I had.
I was living on one side of the country and picked up and left for home on the other side of the country. It wasn’t planned, it just happened.
One day after a minor argument, my finance at the time went out. I don’t know what happened, it’s not like it was some blowout fight but for some reason in that moment there was an overwhelming fight or flight response. By the time he came home I had booked a plane ticket (I chose flight) and told him I couldn’t do this anymore. I knew that if I didn’t follow through this time, it was going to be a long time before I had the guts to try again.
God was surely with me that day.
Needless to say I am grateful for that moment because as soon as I moved home my brother introduced me to his friend. My brother’s friend is now my fiance. This all happened quite quickly. I had no intention of finding love after what I had just left but isn’t that always the way?
I found out a little later my brother was playing the role of matchmaker. He knows my struggles well…especially in relationships and so I am glad he sneaked in there and helped me to find a good apple this time. 🙂
To finally be in a healthy, truly loving relationship is something I almost gave up on but when I was ready to let all of that go, God blessed me for it.
So yeah that’s what kick started a healthy, consistent, loving environment which I had been lacking for a very long time. It was scary at first. I wasn’t used to this healthy stuff and wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it lol but over time I embraced it and I continue to hang on to it with everything I got because I will never allow someone to take that from me again…including me! Gone are the days of self sabotage and you are talking to the former queen of it but I have since hung up my crown lol someone else can have it.
So yes moving on to present day, what do I currently have to be grateful for? Let me count the ways :
- My wonderful soon to be husband
- My family/friends of course ❤
- A roof over my head, food, gas…you know the everyday stuff
- Did I mention the bills are paid? Take that bills! (for now lol)
- The cats<3. Truthfully I should have just included them in #3
- The church. Great pastor and wonderful people
- My job (there’s a first) love my job!
- Good neighbors and a great landlord.
- Country living…oh how I have missed home after 10 years of city living.
- Being the cool aunt. My fiance and I are fine without children personally but my nieces and nephews? Yeah don’t mess with them because you will see this aunt go from zero to mother hen in an instant.
- Standing up for myself (it’s been a slow process but it’s getting easier…almost fun! lol)
- My ability to express myself through writing.
- Giving myself credit (again, long overdue)
- Knowing I have a best friend in my partner. He truly is my best friend ❤
- A sense of humor. Although sometimes dark, my sense of humor has helped me survive a lot of crap.
- Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Yes you read that right. If I had never reached a place where I was aware of my disorder I would still be out there drowning in a dark sea. I believe knowledge is power and knowing is half the battle. Now that I know better I do better…I know, a string of cliches there but it’s all true.
- Being able to see the silver lining in just about everything. I will never let go of that. It holds a lot of power and gives me a sense of control. You can let stuff bring you down or you can counterattack with a list just like this.
- Patience. I always have that in my back pocket.
- Resilience. I can say this with confidence about myself and my family….we always get back up…always. We have God to thank for that and no matter what is going down in my life, God makes sure I can reach his hand. Even if he has to drag me along, as long as my hand is out he will take it ❤
Take Care & God Bless ❤