Fork In The Road

Hey guys 🙂

To my fellow bloggers, I have reached a point that I think every writer dreads. I am not sure what direction I want to take my blog.

I feel like I am all over the map. Do I really want to keep blogging about having bipolar disorder? Do I want to continue a Christian theme on top of it?

I’m not sure…

When I first started this blog I worked hard at it for 2 years. I had over 1000 followers and then I had a major life change. I was convinced I didn’t want to blog anymore and so I pressed the delete button…2 years of work…gone.

Some time passed and I realized I wanted to keep blogging so I started Mental Break In Progress from scratch and for the last year I feel I have fallen completely flat.

My blog used to have direction. A rather clear message but now I’m not sure what message I want to put out there and it’s frustrating. People used to be active on my blog. Conversations were the norm. Now I hear crickets.

Perhaps I have written myself into a corner. I read blogging tips and they all say to stick to a theme. Have a clear direction. Does it really have to be that way? What if I just want to talk about random things? I have seen very successful bloggers who do just that.

Sometimes I think because of the 180 I took in my life (for the better) I no longer relate to the person I was when I started this blog. I tried to keep the same theme going. I started the blog shortly after receiving my diagnoses of bipolar disorder because I needed an outlet and have always loved writing but I have grown so much since then.

I don’t have the dire need to constantly talk about it anymore yet I still consider it to be an important topic as I feel there needs to be open conversation about mental illness in general.

I’m at a point in my life where I have let go of a lot of baggage. I’m in a healthy relationship. A wonderful one. I am closer to my family than ever before and most importantly I have restored my faith. It’s stronger than ever. That being said, I am still kind of discovering this new me.

I see the silver linings. I thrive on the positive now. I don’t feel the need to rehash the trials of my past…but that was my writing mojo…ugh…think Cavelle…think!

The irony of it all is that I have more time to write than ever before. I work as a night auditor and so it’s pretty quiet with not much to do. I should be full of writing ammo.

I guess time will tell?

 

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

 

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Starting Over

Where do I begin?

I guess should backtrack to a few months ago when I decided to shut Mental Break-In Progress down permanently and without warning…

I apologise for that sudden drop off the blogosphere. I was going through quite the life changing moment and I was purging many things out of my life as a result. At the time, I truly thought my blog was one of the things that needed to go.

Turns out it’s not.

Back in July, I ended a six year relationship. Out of the six years, about four of them were attached to an engagement relationship status.

As a result of this breakup, I decided the best course of action was to move 4000 miles across the country back to my hometown so I could be closer to my family and start fresh. I was tired of city life by this point so small town living was looking really good to me.

Instead of going into all the dirty details regarding this breakup/move I am going to skip it. This blog is public and I don’t feel like dragging anyone through the mud like Taylor Swift does every time she breaks up with someone.

Truth is what’s done is done and by making this move, it turns out many things were waiting for me when I arrived home. Family, friends, support, love….yup…love of my life was in my home town this whole time. We met through my brother and well, things took off from there.

Some may feel I did not allow myself enough time to process the breakup before moving forward. To that I say…my previous relationship fizzled out probably a good year before I actually decided to call it quits so in my eyes the break up was not some fresh open wound…this had been coming for awhile and both parties involved knew it…it’s just neither one of us wanted to admit it…I’m sure many of you out there can relate. You stick it out because you’re afraid to let it go.

Through this whole process. I feel like I am learning how to walk again. All the action that’s happened in the last 3 months has prompted me to change medications and seek out a proper therapist which I am happy to report that I finally get to see one next week.

For those of you battling your own mental illness, medication change can equal chaos…at least at first. I have been going through withdrawal and it’s been overwhelming at times. I am thankful to be in a relationship with someone that truly gets it as he has been down this road before.

I think for now this is where I will sign off. If you’re going through some not so pleasant life changes right now just know that I am rooting for you. They say trouble comes in three’s but I like to believe the good follows at the same rate. It’s just a matter of time.

Take Care! ❤

Cavelle