The Truth About Lying

liar

Hey guys ūüôā

Today I want to discuss the art of lying. No, not so you can become a better liar but so you can spot one.

We have all told a white lie here and there…if you try to tell me you have never told a lie, the truth is, you’re lying.

It is human nature to fudge the truth a bit in order to spare someone’s feelings or avoid petty conflict but if you add up enough of these little lies it can quickly snowball ¬†out of control.

But today, I am not talking about the little white lies we are all guilty of telling. I am talking about the compulsive, pathological liar.

Many of us are being lied to right now and don’t even have the first clue it is happening. This is because the brand of liar I am talking about is a seasoned veteran. In many cases, said liar actually believes their own lies¬†and this¬†my friends, is the most dangerous liar of all.

I am going to tell you what to look for so you can avoid being a victim to lies.

First, we have to address the core reason for lying and ask the question “why?” in order to understand said liar. There is one main reason to lie –

To avoid the consequences of truth. Simple enough right? But it goes much deeper than that.

Are you ready to go down this rabbit hole?…Ok, let’s begin!

Low Self Esteem: 

Most likely, the person in question is suffering from low self esteem. They are stuck in denial about what is actually happening (or not happening) in their lives and would rather lie to themselves and others to avoid confronting the real issue at hand, which in many cases is quite painful and brings shame. Who wants that?

When we think of low self esteem and what it looks like, many of us picture that person with the hunched shoulders, who stares at the ground with the quiet voice and cares little about their choice of attire but that isn’t who I’m talking about today…

The Narcissist:

A lot of us assume that the narcissist has deep rooted self esteem issues and toot their own horn to compensate for lack of self esteem but this is where things get a bit tricky.

You see, the narcissist may have deep rooted psychological issues at their core but they actually believe they are as good as they say they are.

The narcissist believes in the idealized version of themselves that they present to you. They have the answers to all of life’s questions and they are more than happy to share whether you asked or not. They come off as arrogant, nothing is their fault, and they feel they are superior in intelligence compared to you and most people.

The narcissist rarely follows through with agreements and obligations. They may at times even admit they are wrong but the truth is they are paying lip service in order to get you off their back. They don’t truly believe they are wrong so they take on the role of being the “bigger man” in order to make you believe they have emotional maturity and you are in fact the one lacking it.

Along with narcissistic behavior, we discover a plethora of personality traits that bring us deeper into the psyche of a liar.

According to Támara Hill, MS, LPC  from PsychCentral.com there are certain personality traits that make a person more likely to lie.

She lists 13 in fact-

Certain personality traits where pathological lying may occur include:

  1. Narcissism or self-centered behaviors and thought patterns
  2. Selfishness
  3. Abusive attitude
  4. Obsessive, controlling, and compulsive behaviors
  5. Impulsivity
  6. Aggressiveness
  7. Jealous behavior
  8. Manipulative behaviors
  9. Deceptiveness
  10. Socially awkward, uncomfortable, or isolated
  11. Low self-esteem
  12. Tempermentalness
  13. Anger

 

I highly recommend reading the rest of her article. It is an excellent, 6 minute read and jammed packed with valuable information you can use to protect yourself. I will share the link below:

6 Subtle Characteristics of The Pathological Liar

So who else are we dealing with besides the the narcissist?

The Sociopath:

First, I need to make it clear that the sociopath and psychopath are not one in the same. The main difference being, the psychopath has no conscious whereas a sociopath path does have a conscious (although weak) and knows that what they’re doing is wrong yet do it anyway.

Now that we have an idea of the personality traits we are dealing with, I can share with you some of the tells that give away a liar nearly every time.

You hear about micro expressions in particular but today I am going to bypass that because most of us just don’t have the time or desire to be that detailed…at least I don’t! So here are some plain as day signs to look for:

Deflection:

Pathological liars have mastered this art form. If you hit them with the truth be prepared to have them switch up the subject pretty quickly or make the conversation about you. They are good at lying on demand so to simply come to them with evidence of the truth will not phase them as much as you think. Remember, they like this game and are willing to play it for as long as it takes to win.

 Liars Stay Calm:

Almost too clam in fact. They want to be the one in control so they take careful, calm, manipulative jabs at you to stir up your emotions as a way to once again, deflect and make this about you.

Once they have you riled up they will say things like “you’re crazy!” This person will do anything to protect their lie, so they are more than willing to dish out low blows.

Do your best to fight fire with fire by staying just as calm, but know what you are up against because the liar does not quit…they can’t quit because they need to keep their story in check so they deflect to buy time to get their lie back in order…On that note, I recommend you read…

The Swiss Cheese Story:

The liar isn’t perfect and they are bound to fumble at some point. Pay close attention to what the liar is saying and compare it to past stories. Question the liar on this and you will see their mood change rather quickly. They go from being calm and smug to angry and annoyed…if you look really close you can see the steam coming out their ears as they angrily formulate more lies.

At first, the liar will have the answers to all of your questions and please note how quickly the answers spu out. Just like a boxer will let his opponent tire and then knock him out in one punch, you need to do the same with the liar.

Start connecting the dots and question the ones that don’t make any sense. Keep questioning and you will start to see the liar is running out of answers and once again deflection comes into play yet the liar will still not admit defeat…trust me…

Trust Me:

Liars overcompensate and exaggerate their version of the truth. The liar will over use phrases like “trust me” and “I swear” or they will start to question you…”What? You don’t believe me?”

Insult To Injury:

When the liar realizes you are not quite buying what they’re selling they will act insulted that you would question their oh so honest ways. Don’t be surprised if you hear the phrase “How dare you!”

Mixed Bag:

The reason a pathological liar is skilled at what they do is because they know how to mix a little bit of the truth into their lies in order to make the lie more believable. It’s always a smoke and mirrors show designed to keep you guessing and doubt yourself.

How do I defeat the liar?

Simple answer? You don’t but I will give you some simple advice that lets you know you are not in fact going crazy like the liar wants you to believe.

Less Is More:

Do not get into a war of words with the liar. Listen to the liar first and foremost as they will reveal something to you…their lie.

The liar will talk, and talk (especially the narcissist).

As they talk, they will add in all kinds of unnecessary details to answer your questions (which they cannot stand) so keep your lips zipped and your ears open. The more silence you provide the more the liar is put off and feels the need to fill in the gap.

Trust Your Gut:

You may not have all the pieces or concrete evidence but your gut is very sensitive to BS so always stay in tune with that gut feeling because it knows before you do most of the time.

In closing, do not beat yourself up if you do happen to let your emotions get the best of you or you discover you have in fact been taken on a ride of lies. What goes around comes around and even the Bible has some choice words for the liar…

Luke 8:17

For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light.

Take Care & God Bless ‚̧

Cavelle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Devil In Disguise

devil-disguise-29160994

Hey guys!

Today I want to present a warning to you in order to help restore your ability to be a critical thinker. A crucial weapon we need to arm ourselves with in order to fight this volatile world we live in right now.

It is no secret that the world we live in today is in major turmoil and it does not seem to be getting any better as time goes on. Clearly, the devil is at work as more and more people are losing hope for humanity and many are losing their faith in God as a result.

As the devil brings out the obvious big guns like war, mass shootings, angry protests, hate crimes, government scandals, and the list goes on, it does not compare to the devil’s biggest weapon of mass destruction and that is his deceit.

 

The Bible warns us of this deceit-

2 Corinthians 11:14

No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.

 

It is my personal belief that as we continue to approach the last days, the biggest single danger we face is not global warfare with threats of mass destruction but a war on our minds and spirit and it’s attacking you everyday right in your own home.

Let’s take the mainstream music industry for example. It is riddled with satanic messages and imagery and yet the masses happily take it all in.

You have children mimicking their favourite artists having no clue what they are portraying and you have the parents of those children posting videos of how cute their child is as they attempt to dance and sing as provocatively as their idols..

You have shows like Toddlers and Tiaras where parents pimp out their children to the masses in sexually provocative song and dance…they are forced to dress and dance like women 6 times their age and yet people find it adorable and cute.

But it’s not folks…I want you to think for a moment how many pedophiles must be having a field day in the comfort of their own homes with this mainstream child porn. It’s right in front of our faces and we allow it to be so.

We are bombarded with commercials pushing us to buy the latest products that are also riddled with sexual imagery and a message that we must keep up in a shallow and materialistic society.

Turn on the news and tell me how happy you feel…

You have a radical left agenda forcing you to accept everyone and their dog despite the fact much of it goes against the word of God.

This agenda is pushed on us more and more everyday and if you don’t accept it, you are persecuted.

Good honest people have lost their jobs and even their lives over this kind of thinking because this persecution spreads like wildfire on social media.

Parents are now starting to be forced by schools to go to their kids and get them to figure out which gender they most associate with before they start their first year of school! What on earth is happening here?

Free speech and the ability to raise our children without the PC rhetoric being forced upon us is going out the window…

And what’s worse, you have the devil’s presence even in spiritual safe havens like your own church. New Age religions promote seemingly harmless practices designed to make you a better person but it strays away from the word of God and encourages you to look within yourself and discover your own path to destiny on your own terms.

I posted this bible verse before but I am going to post it again –

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

 

When I finally decided I was going to clean up my act and truly follow God’s path, the first thing I did was get rid of television. I have not watched anything on TV in 8 months now and you know what? It’s awesome to go about my day blissfully unaware of the crap that was constantly allowed to be pushed on me, especially in the news.

That is not to say I don’t watch anything anymore or that I tune out the media entirely but I am rather selective now of what I allow burned into my ears and retinas.

You see, the devil does not want you or I to be capable of critical thinking because that requires free will. The single most powerful weapon God made sure we would have. He gave us this free will so that those of us who choose to follow Him, do so willingly and honestly.

The devil hates this and wants to destroy your free will and numb your mind with entertainment and he will sink his teeth into any form of it that he can to promote his message while you sit there, a brainwashed automaton who is unaware that you are being controlled and losing your free will by the second.

However the devil believe it or not, allows for free will because he has to and when you willingly choose his side disguised as something good, by the time you realize what’s really going on, it’s too late and what does the devil do?

He laughs at you and says “Why are you upset? It was your choice! I did not force you to do anything.”

If anyone has ever watched The Devil’s Advocate, you will remember Al Pacino playing the role of the devil. Keanu Reeve’s character finally realises he has been deceived by the devil and in turn blames the devil for his misfortune.

Al Pacino replies –

Free will. It’s like butterfly wings: once touched, they never get off the ground. I only set the stage. You pull your own strings.

Free will is a grey area ripe for manipulation but it is necessary if we are to serve God with true intentions. In the book of John, he tells us to be critical thinkers –

 

1 John 4:1

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.

 

Take Care & God Bless ‚̧

Cavelle