Share A Prayer

Hey guys 🙂

Today, like everyday, I need to pray.

I usually keep my prayers and my faith somewhat private but I feel the need to write it down. I am overdue for a good long prayer. Writing is my main therapy and so I hope you will join me as I pray…even if you don’t believe, there is power in prayer ❤

Dear Lord,

You know my struggles well. You have helped me every step of the way and I thank You for that. ❤

Sometimes, despite what I have to be grateful for, what You have given me, I still find myself in the dark.

Useless worrying, confusion and emotions I can’t explain.

Four months ago I reached out to You in a big way and in turn, You answered my prayers in a big way. It restored my faith on a whole new level. I can’t thank You enough for that. ❤

I find myself in the middle of a new journey and so much has happened in that time, a short time really. I am facing my pain now, I am facing myself and sometimes I find myself floundering about wondering if I will ever surface the depths of this pain I have numbed for years.

Lord, You know as well as I do that I did everything in my power to numb the pain and I am sorry that during that time I did not fully turn to You for Your guidance. Please forgive me and give me the strength I need to forgive myself. You were always there. In my heart and in my gut, You made sure I would not fully let go of Your hand.

I find myself facing life head on for the first time in years. You saw to it that I would, because I turned to You…finally.

The dust has settled and I am left with raw sobriety. I question my mental illness at times. I question the medication, I question the doctors and what the next move should be so I turn to You.

I pray for those also facing the pain in their life for perhaps the first time in a long time. I pray You watch over them like You have me and my family. I pray that You continue to hold my hand because I am reaching out with both of them this time as I need a spiritual hug from You like never before.

The world as a whole is changing in ways I can’t explain. Take recent world events and I find myself praying for America and the world at large.

The world is hurting.

I pray that You give me the strength and courage to post this prayer because You know I struggle with sharing this side of myself for fear of what others will think…but that is a disservice to You. Why should I hide my faith in You any longer? You deserve better from me…

I pray that I get through this day and the next. One day at a time. With You and prayer I will do my best to stand strong despite my weaknesses. I realise You do not ask for perfection, simply faith. You don’t make things difficult, I do. I do that to myself when all I have to do is turn to You.

In closing Lord, I hope this prayer reaches the people who need it. I feel at peace with my prayer and feel ready to start my day. Thank You ❤

Amen

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No Words…Just Emotions

Hey guys 🙂

So Monday is here again which means normally I would be posting Monday Mantra.

Today’s mantra is not so much a mantra as it is me needing to connect. I’ve been hurting inside. More than I realised. Last night I think was the first night I truly cried about everything and anything since making my life changing move 4 months ago.

I try my best to be a positive person. We should all strive for that but part of being a positive person is allowing ourselves to let go of the not so good stuff.

In the last two weeks, many things that I thought I had a handle on started to crumble. It’s funny how a series of seemingly small events can add up to one giant title wave of emotion and wow did that wave come crashing down hard.

Since being taken off my medication for anxiety a month ago, I felt like I didn’t have my usual armor to shield me from such overwhelming emotions. You feel like you have no skin and everything that touches you is raw…it hurts.

I’ve prayed more since my breakup and move across the country. It’s funny how God doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we expect Him to. In my case I thought I could just cry alone and pray and that God would make everything go away…turns out that’s not quite how things work.

In the end I found myself finally letting things go in the arms of a true angel. I am with a man who knows me better than I know myself at times. I was not expecting to find such a wonderful person when I made the move to start over. I was not even looking for a man let alone another relationship but he’s been there for me every step of the way. In ways I didn’t even know I needed but he knows and this time he didn’t allow me to bottle things up… That is love beyond compare in my eyes.

So I cried, and cried…and…you get the idea…

The thing is, sometimes there are no words for the hurt in your life. Sometimes it’s all just emotions and it’s so important to find a safe place to let those emotions go. Writing has always been an outlet for me in that regard because I express myself better in writing than I do in person. I know there are others out there with no words… just emotions…who may not want to or feel like writing but who need read the words of another knowing there is someone out there who can relate.

So I find myself today starting fresh despite the recent tears of yesterday. I choose to take things one day at a time…one minute at a time if need be. There is no shame in that. For those of you out there who may be hurting with no place to turn just know that I feel you and if you feel you can connect with me than please do. We all need a safe place to go when times get tough.

Like I mentioned earlier, it’s important to let the bad stuff go so that we can make room for the good stuff/people in our lives.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

Take Care ❤

Cavelle