The Fear Of Making The Wrong Decision

Hey guys 🙂

So in my last two posts, I talked about why you should treat your life like a business and I also discussed a more sensitive topic about why I don’t want to have children.

Today, I want to expand on my “Why You Need To Start Treating Your Life Like A Business” post and delve into a more Christian version of that because personally, I need to get back in touch with the man upstairs (AKA God).

I alluded to the fact that the last week or so has been especially trying. It’s moments like this where it’s so easy for me to get caught up in the stress of it all and forget that God is looking out for me. He’s always there but it never hurts to acknowledge that.

Recently, my fiance had to make a tough decision. The truth is, from the outside looking in, the decision was clear but sometimes, the hesitation to take the high road can seem complicated.

Anxiety, stress, guilt, confusion and a lack of trust in our judgement can hinder the decision making process. It can paralyze us with fear because we become consumed with a question of worry –

What if I am making the wrong decision?

Ultimately, my fiance made the right decision for his well being and I am proud of him for setting boundaries and looking out for his mental and physical health. He put himself first for a change.

For many of us, putting ourselves first can be a challenge and I think for some of us “challenge” is an understatement . We feel guilt if we put ourselves first. We worry about ruffling feathers and more often than not, we stay in an unhealthy situation just to appease people who quite frankly, do not have our best interest at heart.

My fiance and I were discussing his recent decision and at that point he was still feeling guilt and worry but this is what I told him –

  1. The best decisions are usually the hardest to make.
  2. When we get a gut feeling that just won’t go away, that’s God talking to you. He’s trying to show you a better way and so he speaks to your heart until you listen and act on it.

I reminded my fiance and myself that keeping our faith strong needs to stay a top priority. When you look to God and acknowledge him in your life, you start to see he is everywhere.

If God does not exist, I will eat my shirt because based on my own life experiences, it’s a miracle sometimes that I am still standing. Even in my darkest days, my head has managed to stay above water, just barely at times but I have always managed to get back up and fight another day.

I have God to thank for that. ❤

Regardless of what or who you believe in, I have always felt that having a spiritual faith of sorts is so important. What a bleak and depressing path we walk without hope and faith by our side.

When I need to make a tough life decision, I talk to God about it and I love to go online and look up Bible verses for guidance related to my situation.

For this particular topic I found this Bible verse that speaks to me and I hope it speaks to you too –

Proverbs 3:6

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Short and sweet. I have grown to love Proverbs as I find the passages there are so direct and relevant to the world we live in today. The book of Proverbs doesn’t candy coat things and accepts no excuses from us.

I always seem to find the guidance I need there.

I wonder sometimes why we resist God’s path for us. We say we believe and trust in God to watch over us but many times we just have to complicate the path, take a bunch of detours and then finally come to the conclusion our gut was right all along and why didn’t we just listen to it sooner.

When I think of all the times I have done that, I imagine God up there in the clouds smacking his forehead like a parent who tries to tell their kid “Don’t touch the stove it’s hot” but they just have to do the opposite and ultimately learn the hard way.

I used to say the only way I know how to learn is the hard way but overtime I have realized, why learn the hard way all the time? I suppose being in my 30’s I am starting to become more aware of the fact that I am a mere mortal not destined to live forever so why on earth am I wasting time on this sort of thing?

Proverbs 12:11

Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.

Amen Proverbs. When we avoid making the decision we knew all along needed to be made, I think that counts as a worthless pursuit.

Oh, and let’s not forget James. He has an excellent point I need to share regarding this topic –

James 4:17

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

The book of James is similar to Proverbs with it’s unapologetic, to the point words of wisdom and I have started to look there as well for guidance.

When it comes to making life decisions, I don’t think it’s a matter of “right” or “wrong” but more of a “How hard do you want to make this journey?” I believe God will guide us regardless and we will ultimately reach our destination if we hold him in our hearts but I liken decision making to booking a flight –

Do you want the cheaper flight with tons of layovers or the direct flight? Sure, the direct flight may cost you more upfront but you get to where you’re going twice as fast with less mess…usually lol

*I think you get the general idea with that analogy so let’s keep it simple and pretend airlines stay on schedule all the time. 😉 *

In closing, I encourage you to face your fears head on and listen to your gut. Act on it sooner rather than later. Make the decision that is right for YOU because God is not out to make your life miserable.

God is our gut feeling. Trust him. Pass your worries over to him because the more you avoid doing what’s right for you, the louder God will speak in order to get your attention.

He’s not trying to punish you, he’s trying to make you “get it”. He’s giving you a shake because he doesn’t want to see bad things for you. He wants to walk with you so hold his hand and let God lead the way. ❤

 

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

 

 

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Back To Basics

Hey guys 🙂

Well this has to be a record. Three posts in 24 hrs. Reminds me of the good ole days when I used to have real blogging game. An SEO queen! lol but it’s not really what this post is about.

I’ve had quite the day. A rather emotional one. Some of it good. Some of it not so good. I feel like the devil got the best of me just a tad and so that’s why I have titled this post “Back To Basics” because when we lose our way and let people get the best of us, it’s exactly what the devil wants. He loves to see you fall apart and stray from your faith.

So what are we to do when that happens? It’s simple. Turn to God, and so that is what I am doing right now.

I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I have been up for 24 hrs now because for whatever reason, I always get one night shift where I just cannot sleep. Oh and did I mention I am staying late for a group work training session at 10:30 AM this morning? So instead of being done at the usual 7 AM I will be hanging around until then and from there I have no idea how long the training session will be…I feel tears lol

My days off are coming up soon though and next weekend my fiance and I are heading out on an overnight road trip. We desperately need this break and so I pray nothing gets in the way of that. We need this time and honestly, we deserve it.

I am going to try and take my own advice and just breathe. My mind has been racing today. I have not felt like myself and if  I can be truly honest, today has been a “bipolary” kind of day. Most days are fine and when they’re not I usually catch this sneaky beast but today it caught me. Not the worst it’s ever been. Far from it, but still sometimes it just sucks when you feel less in control than normal. Who likes that feeling?

All that aside, I just need to turn to what works in my life. God is at the top of that list. I just need to shake off the cobwebs and keep it simple. I am lucky that I have a supportive family and awesome cats lol. Aside from the basic needs like food and shelter, I’m set. 🙂

I have to do this a lot. Breathe and take inventory of what’s good and keep that list as uncomplicated as possible. It seems like I have to exercise this routine daily but it’s good practice and it works…at least for me it does.

So now that I am officially spent, I will close with this bible verse:

 

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

 

Are You Burning Out? Six Things You Need To Know

Stress
Does this look familiar?

 

Hey guys!

Today, I want to start off by saying it does not matter if you have an existing mental illness or not. We are all at risk for burnout.

 

Burnout:

Physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress.

 

Are you burning out?

In Canada, billions of dollars (yes, billions) are spent related to mental health problems in the workplace. This accounts for over 75% of short term disability claims.

It’s an epidemic.

I have fell victim to burnout before. In hindsight, I feel I could have prevented it had I paid more attention to the signs. I would like to go over some of the signs today in the hopes that if you’re reading this, you can catch and prevent burnout before it’s too late.

 

1. Sleep Disturbances:

I place a lot of importance on this one. Proper sleep is crucial for our mental and physical wellbeing. Sure, we all have a night here and there when a full eight hours just doesn’t happen but definitely keep an eye out for insomnia and on the other end of the spectrum, chronic fatigue.

Neither one is healthy and if ignored in the early stages, it can become a vicious cycle that becomes very difficult to break out of. When your brain won’t shut off or refuses to turn on, this is the first sign something is not right. Do not ignore this!

2. Lack of Concentration and Forgetfulness:

Once your sleep patterns are off you will start to notice you just can’t seem to focus at work anymore. Simple tasks become daunting and that is if you are lucky enough to remember those tasks in the first place. This too becomes a vicious cycle. You may notice your boss is on your case more..

“Why isn’t this done already?…We talked about this yesterday…remember?”

You start to miss deadlines, memos, lunch and breaks because you are trying to make up for your lack of organization which in turn, just adds more stress to the existing problem…

3. Loss of Appetite:

Since you have been missing lunch and breaks trying to catch up on your work, your appetite starts to go off the rails. You may find you don’t have an appetite at all anymore or you may find yourself going without food most of your shift only to come home and eat one giant meal…and since you can’t sleep, you might as well turn on Netflix and eat that bag of chips and drink a gallon of pop…

4. Anxiety and Depression:

As you continue down this rabbit hole, it is not long before you find yourself on edge about your work. Not only are you having trouble getting out of bed in the morning but you are seriously not looking forward to your day anymore.

At this point, you have most likely spent sleepless nights stressing over what has to get done the next day. It makes it harder and harder to walk through those doors no matter how many cups of coffee you drink.

Coworkers who used to brighten your day just don’t cut it anymore. You look around and see everyone going about their workday with relative ease. You start to feel isolated because you feel you are the only one who is not able to keep up with the pack.

5. Physical Symptoms and Increased Illness:

Your brain rules the body and when your brain is not happy, the rest of your body will follow suit. You may notice chest pain, stomach troubles, headaches, tense muscles etc. This takes a toll on your immune system making you more susceptible to illness. You find yourself going from perfect attendance to using up those sick days at a rapid rate.

6. Anger: 

You have now gone from being a ray of sunshine at work to a dark cloud of cynicism. You’re snappy, detached, resentful, and ultimately start to not give a flying (you know what) about whether or not you return that email or finish that project on time.

After all, you’ve been coming into work early and leaving late to make up for the fact you cannot complete your work during your regular shift. You’re working overtime (and most likely not getting paid for it). In your mind, you have done more than anyone else at work and you start to resent your boss and your coworkers because none of them seem to be appreciating the extra effort.

Nobody else cares so why should you?

Once you have reached the anger stage, consider yourself done. It will officially not get any better from here on in unless you take action. Your boss and coworkers at this point would rather avoid you as your state of mind is now considered to be a liability to the rest of the team which only fuels your resentment.

Although it may not feel like it, you do have some options here. I highly recommend taking stress leave. If that is off the table for you than consider switching to a different department and then there is the option no one likes to admit, leave your job.

I know what you’re thinking right now…

“I can’t do that! How will I pay my bills? How will I… (insert one of your many excuses not to save your mental and physical health here.)

The thing is, if you do not acknowledge this for what it is and continue down this path of destruction, pretty soon you will not have a choice. You will either be fired or in the emergency room suffering from a full blown nervous breakdown.

That’s the reality should you choose to ignore all of this. It will not be a matter of if but when.

On top of that, it’s not just in the workplace, your home life will suffer miserably. The people who truly matter will be pushed away.

If you have a partner or spouse, I can assure you this will lead to arguments and fights. It can even lead to more serious complications like divorce. If you have children especially, why risk their well being because you are refusing to take care of your own?

Is it really worth it?

I sincerely hope that if you are reading this and relate to even one of the signs I have listed, take action before it is too late. Talk to your doctor, talk to HR and perhaps give yourself a talking to.

Your mental wellbeing is worth taking care of! Not just for yourself but for those you love. If you put yourself on the backburner you will burnout.

Take Care & God Bless ❤

Cavelle

 

 

Checking In

So in my last two posts I have mentioned going through a medication change/withdrawal. It’s been a bit of a bumpy ride but that being said I see the dust starting to settle and today I am feeling especially grateful.

When I moved home back in July, I started looking for a place to live and a place to work. I have a place to live – check…I did have a job… check?

The thing is, the first job was not for me…I knew this in my gut but I decided to give things a chance anyway…my gut was right. My gut is always right and in this particular instance I was not too thrilled about it but I bit the bullet and left before it became too much.

Turns out call center work is not my calling.

The whole time I’ve been home I have been thinking about applying for a job at a restaurant just up the road from where I live but I put it on the backburner to go for the call center job because it seemed like the better deal. When that didn’t pan out I thought of the restaurant again except this time I was worried I had shot myself in the foot by not going for it the first time.

I bit the bullet again and… it paid off. I start my shift at the restaurant today for some training. I’m going to be a cook there. I am excited. I love working hands on and moving around. It doesn’t hurt I also have restaurant experience under my belt so this is not my first rodeo.

Did I mention I can walk to work in under 10 mins? As someone who has yet to acquire a drivers license this is a huge relief.

I have prayed a lot since my move home. As mentioned in my last post, prayer is powerful. I feel my prayers were answered today and I pray I continue my journey with a steady paycheck.

For those of you feeling the struggle. Pray. Even if you don’t believe in anything or anyone at least believe in yourself…and pray. I don’t care if you pray to a rock. At the very least give it a chance. You may be pleasantly surprised by what transpires when you do. If you don’t want to pray, no worries I will pray for you 🙂

Anyhoooo, that wraps up today’s post. I will keep you in the loop as things evolve. I am just taking things one day at a time.

Take Care ❤

Cavelle